The Search For The Ocarina of Time
by the Red Nothing
Summary: A bored author warps Zelda charaters to her computer, but Link complains there's no plot. Akai gives him one: They're all trapped in Termina with no Ocarina to save them from the moon! Link, Akai, Skull Kid, Tsura, and Mikau each have to search Termina fo
1. Prolouge: Boredom And Writer's Block

  
  
  
  
  
The Search For The Ocarina of Time: Prolouge: Boredom and Writer's Block  
  
DISCLAIMERS: I don't own these dudes. This is something to get my creativity going , and will most likely be really stupid. Enjoy! (I hope....)  
  
*scene: A teenage girl is typing away at her computer in a dark room. The only things visible are her outline, the computer, and a Mikau plushie sitting on top of the monitor, all made visible by the computer's lights. Suddenly, she just stops*  
  
GIRL: Ai! Writer's block!!  
  
***just then, three SHAPES fall from the ceiling***  
  
SHAPE #1: Ow... Dude, that wasn't funny...  
  
SHAPE #2: Eeheeheeheehee!!  
  
SHAPE #3: Uh-oh...  
  
  
***lights come on, revealing that GIRL is Akai (duh), SHAPE #1 is Mikau, SHAPE #2 is SKULL KID, and SHAPE # 3 is Link****  
  
  
AKAI: Oh great, maybe you three can help.  
  
MIKAU: Sure, girl!  
  
LINK: Why not? I DO help people for no apparent reason...  
  
SKULL KID: Eeheeheehee!!  
  
ALL (but SKULL KID): *sweatdrop*  
  
SKULL KID: I will summon the moon!! And it will crash!! And you will all DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!  
  
MIKAU: O_o  
  
AKAI: *grabs Mikau plushie and squeezes in fear* O_o  
  
LINK: Didn't I just STOP you from doing that...?  
  
AKAI: (ahem!)   
  
LINK: Oh, I mean, ah... O_o  
  
  
MIKAU: Skull Kid, you need help, dude...  
  
SKULL KID: So do you, surfer boy! Eeheeheehee!!  
  
AKAI: *chucks plushie at SKULL KID*  
  
SKULL KID: Damn! *big mallet labeled "CENSORS lands on SKULL KID's head*  
  
AKAI: Censors! You're from an E-rated game, bud!!  
  
SKULL KID: $%@#$!!! *train labeled "CENSORS" rolls over him*  
  
AKAI: VERRRY bad word! Now gimmee my plushie back!!  
  
SKULL KID: *grumble grumble* *throws back plushie*  
  
AKAI: **hearts encircle head as she hugs it*  
  
ALL (but AKAI): **sweatdrop  
  
LINK: Uhm, this is reaaaalllly stupid....  
  
AKAI: Huh? Why?  
  
LINK: Well, no plot, no setting....  
  
AKAI: *waves hand and they all appear in Clock Town*  
  
**********DAWN OF THE FIRST DAY*************  
***72 HOURS REMAIN***  
  
AKAI: Well, there's our setting/plot....  
  
MIKAU/LINK/SKULL KID: *facefault*  
  
AKAI: Huh? What...?  
  
MIKAU: Girl...there's our moon.....*points up at a huge grinning moon with scary eyebrows and a nametag that says, 'HI! My Name Is Dorothy Catilonia!"*  
  
ALL: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
AKAI: Now wait....erm, Link, don'tCHA' have that spiffy Ocarina....  
  
LINK: I dropped it somewhere in Termina.....  
  
MIKAU: Dude, that doesn't help much....  
  
SKULL KID: HEY!! BIMBOS!! AREN'T I THE ONE WHO'S BRINGING IT DOWN?!  
  
AKIA: Nope, this is AU. There's ANOTHER Skull Kid doing alla' this....  
  
MIKAU: So, like, is there another Mikau?  
  
LINK: Or Link?  
  
AKAI: Nope. Only another Skull Kid.  
  
LINK: Well THAT was smart, Akai...  
  
AKAI: Why are you blaming ME?!  
  
SKULL KID: Well, you ARE the author....  
  
AKAI: Hmm... Good point...  
  
LINK: *lightbulb appears over head* Wait! Then can't you just ZAP! Us outa' here!  
  
AKAI: *sweatdrop* Nooo.... But I CAN add another character to the mix...  
  
  
***enter an 11-year old, female Zora**  
  
MIKAU: Who's that?  
  
AKAI: Your daughter, from the future.  
  
ALL(but Akai and ZORA): O_o  
  
MIKAU: Well, it's kinda' cool...what's your name?  
  
TSURA: Tsura, Dad. You DID name me...  
  
MIKAU: Uh, yeah....  
  
SKULL KID: OK, great. We have to find the Ocarina before three days are up, right?  
  
AKAI: Right! Now listen up, 'cause this is what we're going to do: I have a plan.  
  
ALL(but AKAI): AHHHHHH!!!  
  
AKAI: Shut up. This is the  
Zelda stuff I have:  
25 Bottles  
1 Ocarina of Time (copy, no Song of Time capabilities)  
1 Fish Bone Guitar  
1 Fishbone Sax  
1 Woodland Flute  
1 Fairy Ocarina  
  
5 Bows  
5 Quivers   
3 Fire-Arrow Power-Ups  
2 Ice-Arrow Power-Ups  
1 Light-Arrow Power Up....  
  
  
LINK: Forget it!! We'll know what we have when we need it!! WHAT'S THE PLAN!!!??  
  
AKAI: **Sweatdrop** Here's the deal: Each of us is going to scour one part of Termina. Skull Kid'll take the Swamp...  
  
SKULL KID: Oh I WILL?!  
  
AKAI: *punching him in the face* Yes you will. You're the closest the we've got to a Deku scrub...  
  
SKULL KID: OK...oww...  
  
AKAI: Right, I'll take the Mountain, 'cause I've done it before AND have a Goron's Mask.   
  
LINK: YOU've done it before?! HOW?!  
  
AKAI: *gets freaky look in her eyes* I ...can....control....you....  
  
LINK: O_o Never mind...  
  
AKAI: *eyes go back to normal* Good. You'll be taking the Canyon....  
  
LINK: NOOOO!! SCARY!! GHOSTS!! MUMMIES!! ZO-*gets him in the face* I want Clooock Tooooown....  
  
AKAI: Too bad. Tsura's getting Clock Town, 'cause she's inexperienced. Mikau, obviously, you're getting Ocean. Now... *hands out Zelda stuff* I want you all to learn this song: It's called The Song of Friendship:  
  
(Down C, Up C, Right C, Up C, Down C)  
  
MIKAU: *makes face* That sounds AWFUL, dude!  
  
AKAI: Too bad!! 'Cause that's how the song goes!!!  
  
AKAI: Once again, too bad. That's how it goes. If you find the Ocarina, play the song on it/your assigned intrument to call us all together for the Song of Time. And, please, help people along the way: It pays off!!! You never know what you could get as a reward....  
  
LINK: Like dandruff shampoo!!?  
  
AKAI: *punch!* No stocking-brain, like an Ocarina!  
  
LINK: But why do we need...? *it hits him-:LITERALLY!* Oh!! Right!!  
  
AKAI: OK, everyone, move out!!!  
  
READER: Wait! Do me a favor!!  
  
AKAI: No.  
  
READER: I AM reading this crap!!  
  
AKAI: *sweatdrop* Deal...  
  
READER: REMOVE THE DOROTHY MOON!!!  
  
AKAI: All right.... *eyebrows and nametag vanish* THERE!!   
  
READER: Good....  
  
AKAI: Ok, NOW move out!!*gets out Fairy Ocarina and plays Song of Soaring; disappears in flash of wings*  
  
SKULL KID: Whatever...*takes out flute and plays Song of Soaring; disappears in flash of wings*  
  
MIKAU: Well, Tsura, see ya' around....*takes out guitar and plays Song of Soaring; disappears in flash of wings*  
  
LINK: *shivering* Z-z-z-zombies...n-n-n-not again...*takes out Ocarina of Time Copy and plays Song of Soaring; disappears in a flash of wings*  
  
TSURA: Uhm...well, 'later!!  
  
And so begins our stupid- erm, EPIC adventure....  
  
--------------  
REAAALLLLLYYYYY Dumb. There's going to be 16 (O_o) more parts: One for each character each day, and a "Wrap-Up" chapter. Dumb, I know, but keep reading, as it will probably get better. And R&R please!  



	2. Part One, Chapter 1- Censors May Be Hazo...

Search For The Ocarina Of Time: Day One: Skull Kid in The Swamp.  
  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything. Except for my Mikau plushie! *huggles*  
  
{}=Thoughts  
  
SKULL KID: *has just appeared from playing "Song of Soaring"* This is soooooooooooo stupid!! Why the hel- {Wait! Remember the censors!} heck do I have to do this?! *trips over his own feet, falling on his back, giving him an excellent view of the moon*   
  
MOON: *ggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiin*  
  
SKULL KID: Oh yeah.... THAT THING.... Darn it, I hate this..... *comes to the boat-tour place* Huh? What the heck is THIS place?!  
  
AUTHOR: (not Akai, don't ask) The Boat-Tour Place!! Check between the asterisks!!  
  
SKULLKID: Huh? *checks (don't ask again)* Oh yeah! *starts to climb up the ladder....*  
  
DEKU SCRUB: *pops out of flower* (SQUEAK!) Hello!!  
  
SKULL KID: *startled out of his sticks* AAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! *falls into the water, but, since wood always floats, comes back to the surface* WHO THE SPOONY ARE YOU!!!?  
  
SCRUB: (squeak?) Spoony?  
  
SKULL KID: *whispering* The censers are everywhere.....  
  
SCRUB: Rrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggght.... (squeak!) So, can I help you?  
  
SKULL KID: *drags himself (or floats?) out of the water, and coughs some up, too* YES YOU CAN HELP ME!! Or you COULD have!! *climbs up the ladder*  
  
SCRUB: No, I mean business-wise. You see, I'm selling Magic Beans, with a (squeak!) focus on Deku Scrubs. But you know, I'd really like to open up a shop in town. But....*leans in closer to SKULL KID*  
  
SKULL KID: *sweatdrop*  
  
SCRUB: *whispering* You have to (squeak) have the proper connections, if you know what I mean....*extends hand toward a confused-looking SKULL KID*  
  
SKULL KID: *promptly* No. *walks into Tour-Place, mumbling,* Freaks....  
  
SCRUB: Damn...*gets killed by flaming arrow labeled "CENSORS"*  
  
***inside Bout-Tour Place*  
  
SCARY PAUL-BUNYAN MAN: Hello! Can I help you?  
  
SKULL KID: {Why does everyone want to help me today?}Yeah, twit: Have you seen a blue ocarina??  
  
SCARY PAUL-BUNYAN MAN (or S P-B MAN): A what? What the hell's an ocarina- *gets hit by "CENSORS" mallet*  
  
SKULL KID: It's getting old....  
  
AUTHOR: Sorry...  
  
S P-B MAN: If you want to ride the boat-  
  
SKULL KID: *annoyed* I never said I-  
  
S P-B MAN: *ignoring him* well, you can't, because...well, go to the potion shop to find out.  
  
SKULL KID: WHAT DOES A POTION SHOP HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!!  
  
S P-B MAN: A wild goose chase.  
  
SKULL KID: *steam coming out of "ears"*Grrr...  
  
S P-B MAN: *nervously* H-h-here, take this camera!! *gives him the PICTOGRAPH BOX*  
  
SKULL KID: *staring blankly at thing in his hands* ...whatever.... *walks out the door and slams it behind him, walking past a flaming, squeaking bush....*  
  
SKULL KID: *throws the Pictograph Box into the water* *siiiiiiigh* Now where's that stupid potion-shop...?  
  
-----------at the Potion Shop-----------  
  
SKULL KID: Uck!! This looks like a friggin' hippie crack-house!  
  
KOUME: Can I help you?  
  
SKULL KID: *looks at the witch with the scary nose that's always sniffing* Weren't you one of the bosses in the Spirit Te-  
  
KOUME: No.  
  
SKULL KID: Are you su-  
  
KOUME: Yes.  
  
SKULL KID: Posi-  
  
KOUME: YEEEEEES!!!  
  
SKULL KID: *sweatdrop* Uh, right lady, back to the issue of whether or not you can help me.... Have you seen a blue ocarina?  
  
KOUME: No. Do you honestly think you'd find it on the first day in the first chapter?  
  
SKULL KID: No, not really... Ok, next question: What's wrong with the boat tour ride?  
  
KOUME: My sister, Kotake, hasn't come back from gathering mushrooms in the forest. If you could....  
  
SKULL KID: {Akai said I should always help people.... HAHAH!! As IF!!}*pulls out fire arrows* YOU STEER IT!  
  
KOUME: *swallows* O...K.....  
  
  
-----On The Boat Tour Ride Thingy----  
  
KOUME: *shaking* D-d-do you have a pictograph box? I-if you do, you can win rupees or-  
  
SKULL KID: Granny, do you think I CARE?!  
  
KOUME: N-n-n-n-ooo.... *glad she'll soon be rid of him* OH! We're here!  
  
SKULL KID: Where?! I don't even know where I'm GOING!!  
  
KOUME: To the Deku King's Palace....  
  
SKULL KID: {Kings have treasure!! Maybe Ocarinas, too!!} Let me off!! *leaps off of boat, but in mid-jump, he freezes*  
  
********Night Of The First Day*************  
----------------------------60 Hours Remain--------------------------------  
  
SKULL KID: Uhh...  
  
KOUME: Get used to it: It's been happening since this morining. *zooms off**  
  
SKULL KID: I didn't know it had a motor.... Well, whatever....*walks into Deku Palace*  
  
*************DEKU KING'S PALACE***************  
  
*there are two DEKU GAURDS at the door*  
  
DEKUGAURD#1: Halt! This is the Deku Palace! It is no place for outsiders!!  
  
SKULL KID: ...whatever...*tries to get by but is blocked*  
  
DEKUGAURD: He said get away, darn it!!  
  
SKULL KID: *thinks for a minute* All right, I'll go, but only if you can solve my riddle. First one to guess gets credit for kicking me out to the king.  
  
DEKUGAURDs: O_o  
  
SKULL KID: You said "darn". What's the other, worse word that means the same thing?  
  
DEKUGAURDs: *at same time* DAMN!!! *are both hit by flaming arrows that say "CENSORS"*  
  
SKULL KID: Mweeheeheehee....SUCKERS!!  
  
***************DEKU KING'S THRONE ROOM***************  
  
DEKU KING: Monkey, how dare you!!? You tricked my daughter into letting you into the Woodfall Temple, and then you, you, you ATE HER!!!  
  
SKULL KID: Huh?? *looks at a tiny monkey, all tied up, the acused one* HIM!? EATING A DEKU?! MWEHEEEHEEHEEHEEHEEEEHEEEHEEEHEEE!!!  
  
BUTLER: INTRUDER!! SEIZE HIM!!  
  
SKULL KID: *gets thrown outside* Dang.... Well, I think I'll head to this 'Woodfall' place and check it out. But first....a nap!! *sleeps*  
  
************* DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY*********  
-------------------------------48 Hours Remain--------------------  
  
SKULL KID: *wakes up* Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. Hm, I wonder what Akai's been doing... Well actually, I couldn't care less, but it'll be in the next chapter whether I like it or not....Mweeheehee....  
  
  
)))))))))))((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))(((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))((((((((((((((()))))  
  
Dumb, ne? Well, please R&R, 'cause next we'll find out what I'm doing!  
  
  



	3. Part One, Chapter 2- BeingThe Author Doe...

Search For The Ocarina of Time, Part 2~ Day One: Akai on the Mountain  
  
DISCLAIMER: I DO own Akai! But no one else....:( BUT MY MIKAU PLUSHIE!! *huggles*  
This all happens to Akai in the Mountain at the same time the stuff happened to Skull Kid in the Swamp.  
  
Also, I'm not really Goron-bashing ; they really ain't the brightest folks in Termina/Hyrule,which is what makes them sooo adorable ^_^  
  
Oh yeah, sorry for the bad spelling....  
  
**************Dawn of The First Day******************  
--------------------72 Hours Remain---------------  
  
AKAI: *has just shown up near where you get the Lens Of Truth* Ugh...my stomach....Now, ah, I think I should get moving....*realizes she CAN'T move* What the-SNOW?! Hewp! Mph!  
  
GORON#1: Hu....uh? *walks over to the snowball, slooooooooooooooowly* Anyone in there...?  
  
AKAI: MPH!! Gmph ouf! Hewp!!  
  
GORON#1: Uh....u...OK! *uses Goron Punch on snowball, sending Akai and bits of snow flying*  
  
AKAI: WHOOOOAAAAA-*lands in snowdrift* MPH!   
  
GORON#1: Are....yoou OK?  
  
AKAI: *digging herself out of the snow* DO I LOOK BLOODY O- *is hit by teacup labelled "CENSORS"*  
  
AKAI: Hey!! What'd I do?!  
  
AUTHOR: "Bloody" is a cussword in Britan.  
  
AKAI: Hence the teacup. ...fuuuuuunnnyyyy. Hey! Aren't _I_ the author?!  
  
AUTHOR: . . . . . . . *dissapears*  
  
AKAI: *sweatdrop*. . . . . . .. . . . . . .*to GORON#1* Goron Number One, where are we? AND WHAT KINDA' NAME IS "GORON NUMBER ONE"?!  
  
GORON#1: We're...somplace cold...  
  
AKAI: *siiiiigh*  
  
GORON#1:OH YEAH! Goron Village. My name is Billy Joe Bob.  
  
AKAI: Uhm, OK then, Billy Joe, can y-  
  
BILLY JOE BOB: Billy Joe BOB!  
  
AKAI: *sweatdrop* OK then, Billy Joe _BOB_, can you get me INSIDE Goron Village?!  
  
BILLY JOE BOB: Why do you say weeee'ree not?   
  
AKAI: *annoyed* Because there's white stuff falling from the sky!!  
  
BILLY JOE BOB: *in horror* NO!! DO I HAVE DANDRUFF AGAIN?!  
  
AKAI: ....you don't even have hair...  
  
BILLY JOE BOB: ...oh.  
  
AKAI: I meant the snow!! Can you open the door to the Goron Shrine for me?!  
  
BILLY JOE BOB: Sure! *performs the Goron Roll to get to the door, and AKAI runs behind. However, BILLY JOE BOB (I'm afraid not to write out his entire name) hits the door and cracks his poor empty skull as well as the door open*  
  
AKAI: Whoo boy...{Wait, I'd better follow my own advice and help people out....} *with great difficulty, drags BILLY JOE BOB into Goron Shrine*  
  
**********INSIDE GORON SHRINE*******  
  
VOICE: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!  
  
AKAI: *drags in BILLY JOE BOB*  
  
GORON#2: *from shadows* Oh no! The poor Goron! What happened to him?!  
  
AKAI: Huh...? Who? *looks at BILLY JOE BOB* Oh, him?  
  
GORON#2: *sarcastically* No, the one behind you.  
  
AKAI: O_O A Goron....using....SARCASIM?!!  
  
GORON#2: Of course. We're not ALL stupid: Just the males. *GORON#2 steps out from the shadows revealing a FEMALE GORON!!!*  
  
AKAI: Itai! I always wondered where the females were... But you DID just lose all of my male readers....  
  
GORON#2: Well, if they're NOT stupid, they'll realize it was just an onna-joke.  
  
AKAI: Right! But what IS that crying?!  
  
GORON#2: ....the Elder's son...he misses his father....  
  
AKAI: {Oh yeah! I remember that from the game. It scared me though....I mean, the Elder must be eighty minumun, and his son is three to five!? Who's the mother?! WHOA! Impure thoughts....} I see....  
  
GORON#2: By the way, our tribe has a song that makes any Goron that hears it fall asleep, but, anyway, WHAT EVER SHALL WE DO?!!  
  
AKAI: *sweatdrop* {Maybe the women AREN'T any brighter than the men....} *siiiiigh* {Oh well...} *runs up the stairs to where BABY GORON is crying*  
  
BABY GORON: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!  
  
GORON#3: Ow! My eaaaaaarss!! My eaaaaarsss!! It's so looooooud!! That's why I'm standing three feet awaaaaaayyyy from the kid!! Instead of leaaving the roooom and shuuuting the dooooorrrrr!! OWWW!!!!  
  
AKAI: ...  
  
BABY GORON: WHAAAAAAAAA!!!! I'M A PRODUCT OF AN OLD-GEEZER'S ONE-NIGHT AFFAIR!!! WHAAA-*is hit by a rock labelled "CENSORS"*  
  
AKAI: Hey, author! What did he do!?  
  
AUTHOR: The creepy censors say he was implying "suggestive themes". Don't look at me....*dissapears*  
  
GORON#4: You knocked him clear un...concious...!  
  
AKAI: It DID shut him up!  
  
GORONs: ...truuueeee...  
  
GORON#2: Could you please go and fiind the elder? Before the kid wakes up?  
  
VOICE INSIDE OF AKAI KU'S HEAD: {Helppeoplehelpeoplehelppeoplehelppeople....}  
  
AKAI: *eyes glaze over via Heero Yuy* Mission: Accepted. *runs outside*  
  
GORON#2: *puts on her labcoat* Whew, now that she's gone ladies and gentlemen, we may continue researching the space-time continuem theroy....  
  
***THE PATH TO GORON VILLAGR***  
  
AKAI: It's freezing here....  
  
???: No duh!! See the snow?!  
  
AKAI: Huh? What? Who are you???  
  
BLACK FAIRY: *flies down* I'm Tael!! I'll come and help you out!  
  
AKAI: I thought you were with the-  
  
****NIGHT OF THE FIRST DAY****  
---------60 HOURS REMAIN---------  
  
AKAI:...I hate that....  
  
TAEL: Ditto.  
  
AKAI: ANYWAY, I thought you were with the Skull Kid...erm, Skull Kid II.  
  
TAEL: I came here through a plothole.  
  
AKAI: o_O  
  
TAEL: *sweatdrop (can fairies sweat?)* Uh, hey! Doesn't that snowball look bigger than the rest?  
  
AKAI: *flatly* No.  
  
TAEL: I thought you said you'd beaten this part of the game before!!   
  
AKAI: You weren't IN that scene!!  
  
TAEL: You were all standing by the Clock Tower, right? I could've heard you from there.  
  
AKAI: Right. I guess...anyway, I didn't use Tatl's help for that: I just punched every single snowball as a Goron!  
  
TAEL: *sweatdrop*  
  
AKAI: Soo....*shoots Fire Arrow at the big snowball. It mealts to reveal GORON ELDER in ice. AKAI fires another FIRE ARROW and melts the ice* There! *hops down with TAEL to the GORON ELDER*  
  
GORON ELDER: Huh? Who aaaaaaaaareeeeeeeeee you?? Thanks foor yooouuuur help, but we cannot accept help from outsiders........I can only think of my crying son...  
  
TAEL: You have a son that still cries?? Either he's immature, or you are a veeerrrrrrrrrrryy freaky geezer...  
  
AKAI: He's unconious right now...  
  
GORON ELDER: !! Then I mustt hurry!! *totters about as quickly as a blind kid with one leg trudging off to detention*  
  
  
TAEL: ...are you SURE you don't want any help?   
  
GORON ELDER: YES!! LEAVE ME BE!!  
  
AKAI/TAEL: O_o *watch in silence as the GORON ELDER sllllllllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy walks away. He finally moves about two inches before he freezes in ice again [1]*  
  
TAEL: *sweatdrop*Soooo....now what?  
  
AKAI: I heard there's some kind of smithy-  
  
TAEL: "Smithy"? That sounds gay...  
  
AKAI: So's a purple male fairy.  
  
TAEL: I'm an evilish purple-black!  
  
AKAI: ............. O_o Anyway, I'm going, 'cause a smith means a forge and a forge means fire and fire means heat!*runs off with TAEL to the smithy*  
  
*********INSIDE MOUNTAIN SMITHY*******  
  
SHORT ANNOYING GUY: Hello!! Can I help you!!   
  
AKAI: C-c-c-c-cold...  
  
DEKU-STICK-GUY (STRONG MAN): GWAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  
  
SHORT ANNOYING GUY: Shaddup!! Can't you see we have customers?!  
  
AKAI/TAEL: *collapse from the cold*  
  
STRONG MAN: GRA! RERR REER!! (I think they're out cold...)  
  
SHORT ANNOYING GUY: Shaddup!! What do you know?!  
  
............and so on. They argued all night. Fortunatly, the place was MILDLY heated, so Akai and Tael didn't die.  
  
*****************DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY*****************  
-----------------------------48 HOURS REMAIN--------------------------------  
  
AKAI: *yaaaaaaaawwwwwn* I think we should check out Snowhead today, Tael.  
  
TAEL: Sure, why not?  
  
AKAI: *stands up, and MIKAU PLUSHIE falls out of pocket* Hn, I wonder how he's doing....  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
[1] I swear to God, it DOES happen in the game! Unfreeze him, then wait for awhile; he'll freeze up again ^_^   
  
Well, the next part will be about Mikau at the Ocean! Thanks to everyone who R it meant a lot! And I was almost crying when I saw I've become some of your favorite authors....*sniff* So just for you, here's some stats on Akai and Skull Kid:  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~SKULL KID~~~~~~~~~~  
NAME: .....?  
RACE: Skull Kid (duh)  
AGE: ? (about 10 in my fic)  
HOMELAND: Lost Woods, Hyrule  
WEAPON OF CHOICE: Deku Nuts/Sticks  
INSTRUMENT: Woodland Flute  
FAIRY: (not telling yet! He'll get one!)  
CLAIM TO FAME: Once nearly destroyed Termina with the help of an evil mask.  
QUOTE(s): "....whatever." "Mweeheeheehee!"  
  
  
~~~~~~~~AKAI KU~~~~~~~  
NAME: Akai Ku (to YOU ;) )  
RACE: Human  
AGE: 13  
HOMELAND: Michigan, the Real World (shudder)  
WEAPON OF CHOICE: Hero's Bow  
INSTRUMENT: Fairy Ocarina  
FAIRY: Tael  
CLAIM TO FAME: Is writing this awful thing! BWAHAHAHAHA!  
QUOTE(s): "I...can....control yoooooooou....."  
  
Thanks y'all for the great reviews! I'll give you Mikau's stats next part, Link's the next, and Tsura's after that. Please R&R. I'm going to go R&R your fics RIGHT NOW (until I have to go, anyway)  
Ja ^_^  



	4. Part One, Chapter 3- That Thing In This...

The Search For The Ocarina of Time, Part Three: Mikau at the Ocean  
  
DISCLAIMER: Do you think I own Zelda? *takes out Hero's Bow with Light Arrows* Doooooooooooo you? Nooo? Good. *puts the weapon away*  
  
Once again, thanks to all of you for your great reviews! If you ever need any help with a fic, serious or humorous, feel free to E-mail me for help! I'll edit, proofread, offer tips to make it more descriptive, whatever!   
  
So, R&R please, all, and, once again, please forgive the horrible spelling... Here we go....  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
*******DAWN OF THE FIRST DAY********  
---------------72 HOURS REMAIN-----------------  
  
*~*~*~*~*GREAT BAY COAST*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
MIKAU: *appears after playing "Song of Soaring"* Ooh, dude, my stomach! I don't think I should've chomped on that seventh Chili-Sea Bream...  
  
AUTHOR: O_o You've got problems.  
  
MIKAU: y'know what?! So do you!! Like, stop annoying us in these fics by butting in!! You've already sent Akai to do that!!  
  
AUTHOR: *chuckles evily* Very well. I'll just give you a "partner" like I did Akai...*leaves*  
  
BLUE FAIRY: *appears*  
  
MIKAU: Whoa! Dude! Who are YOU!  
  
BLUE FAIRY: I'm the partner XIIIRedXIII sent you!  
  
MIKAU: Xeeredxee what? That's a funny-sounding name...  
  
BLUE FAIRY:*slams into the floor (yes there IS a floor; remember where the Owl Statue is?), her version of a facefault* Idiot!! Those are Roman numerals!! It's 13Red13!!!  
  
MIKAU:...gimme a break; I'm just a some polygonal Zora... So who's this XIIIRedXIII chick anyway?  
  
BLUEFAIRY: *siiiigh* OK, Akai Ku has a flipside, XIIIRedXIII, aka the "AUTHOR". Akai is the self-inserted character, strong physically and courageous, and XIIIRedXIII is the intellectual one, and the author. Akai means red in Japenese, see?  
  
MIKAU: No, I don't see. All I see is a lot of blue...  
  
BLUEFAIRY: *rolls eyes (assuming she HAS eyes)* Gra! Anyway, if you combine Akai and Red, you get the real-life girl who is sitting at her laptop in Michigan writing this at two AM!  
  
MIKAU: ...who is...?  
  
XIIIREDXIII: *appears* You'd BETTER not tell, Ruto, or you'll be playing "Saria's Song" for Darunia 24-hours straight. *leaves*  
  
RUTO (BLUEFAIRY): As you can see, both sides are annoying and sarcastic....Mikau, what's wrong? Like-Like got your tounge?  
  
MIKAU: You're RUTO!! THE ONE THAT CHASES LINK AROUND!!  
  
RUTO: *sssiiiiiiiiiggghhhh* I don't do that anymore: No dating outside my own species, thank you very much. I am The Hylian Zora Princess Ruto IV [1], the Sage of Water in The Realm of Light, and I have assumed this earthly body of a fairy to assist you!  
  
MIKAU: ...or maybe just annoy me...  
  
RUTO: *rings and hits Mikau in the head* Just shut up, guitar-boy! Let's go into the Marine Research Center [2], seeing we're kinda' just STANDING ON ITS PORCH ? !!!   
  
MIKAU: ...*shrugs* Ok. *climbs up the ladder*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~INSIDE MARINE RESEARCH CENTER~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
MIKAU: Ugh...I think the dude in that jar is my Uncle Joe...  
  
RUTO: Ahh!!! *hides behind Mikau*  
  
MIKAU: ??? What?  
  
RUTO: That man...  
  
MIKAU: Man? I thought it was a grandma...  
  
???: Humph!  
  
RUTO: Nevermind. He...eats frog eyeballs!!!  
  
MIKAU: Eewww!!  
  
SEA MONKEY IN JAR: Eewww!  
  
BIG FISH IN TANK #1: Eewww!!  
  
BIG FISH IN TANK #2: Eewww!!*eats BFIT#1*  
  
GERUDO PIRATES: (passing outside) Eewww!!  
  
XIIIREDXIII: (from Author-Land) Eewww!!  
THE EVIL MOON: Eewww!! Wait, I was just looking at my face in the water...  
  
MIKAU: ...*sweatdrop*  
  
RUTO: That was...  
  
MIKAU: ...strange?  
  
RUTO: Exactly.  
  
  
SCARY FROG-EYEBALL EATING MAN: Oh come on, I only did that in Ocarina of Time.  
  
MIKAU: *candle (no lightbulbs!) appears over head* Oi! By the way, have you seen it?  
  
SFEBEM: Huh?! The movie's out already?! WHOOHOO!!! *runs out the door*  
  
RUTO: No wait that's not what we-  
  
*SPLASH is heard from outside*   
  
RUTO: ...meant.  
  
MIKAU: Where to now?  
  
RUTO: *siiiiiiighh* Let's try Zora Hall...  
  
MIKAU: 'k. *runs out door*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~GREAT BAY COAST~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
ZORA#1: (sees MIKAU) Hey, Mikau! Do that thing you always do!  
  
MIKAU: ...?  
  
ZORA#1: You know, that THING!  
  
MIKAU: Noooooo...  
  
ZORA#1: You know, the thing where you take those things and do this thing so that the other things do a different thing!  
  
MIKAU: ...(-_-)=C  
  
ZORA#1: THE THING THING!!  
  
RUTO: ...let's go.  
  
MIKAUandRUTO: *jump into water and swim off toward Zora Hall*  
  
ZORA#1: Oh rats...*starts singing "That Thing You Do"*  
  
ZORA#2: *sweatdrop*   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~INSIDE ZORA HALL~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
ZORA#3: Oy, Mikau! Where've you been?  
  
MIKAU: *warily* To Hell and back...  
  
RUTO: Mikau, NO!! *nothing happens* Huh?  
  
XIIIREDXIII: *appears* He was using the term "Hell," to speak of the place, not to express anger or frustration. Therefore, it is not a cussword. *dissapears*  
  
RUTO: ...  
  
ZORA#3: Uhhhhm...Ahem: Evans' been looking all over for you!  
  
MIKAU: All right... *runs into a room, but it's his and Tito's [3] room*  
  
TITO: *muuuumnnn* Hey, Mikau, where've you been? We've been worried! Say...  
  
RUTO: *whispering* I've played this game; this conversation goes on for-  
  
********NIGHT OF THE FIRST DAY********  
--------------60 HOURS REMAIN----------------  
  
TITO: *muuuuumnnn* That was different from this morning; The whole word turned black...  
  
MIKAU: *sweatdrop* Gotta' run! *tries to run, but trips over a broken ladder*  
  
TITO: *muuuuuumnnn* Oh, Mikau, promise you won't get mad but.... I tried to climb up to your room, but the ladder broke. Sorry...  
  
RUTO: Well it doesn't surprise me, you big lard-ass! *is hit my frying pan labbeled "CENSORS"* I hate my job.  
  
MIKAU: (thought bubble): {Why the heck was he sticking his face in my room anyway?!} (speech bubble): No sweat Tito. *leaves with RUTO*  
  
RUTO: *looks around* GAWD I feel like this is some messed up gameshow: "Pick The Right Door and Win a Prize"! You live here: Don't you know where the bandleader's room is?!  
  
MIKAU: Not really...he says he wants to see our ugly mugs as little as possible.  
  
RUTO: ...  
  
MIKAU: Let's try this door.  
  
ZORA#4: *is trying to pick the lock open* Shut up! Go away! Can't you see I'm busy?! *realizes who it is* Oh, Mikau! Heh heh heh...hi! I'm kinda' worried about LuLu, so just checking up on her. I'm not SPYING or anything...heh. Don't think I'm some disgusting fish... Oh, look at the time!  
  
MIKAU: *checks bottom of the screen*  
  
ZORA#4: I've gotta'run! Bye! *runs off*  
  
RUTO: AFTER THAT ZORA!!  
  
MIKAU: Why?  
  
RUTO: Dunno'. I always wanted to say that, though...  
  
MIKAU: *sigh* Fine.... *runs after ZORA#4*  
  
ZORA#4: You got me. But I really envey you.  
  
MIKAU: Flattery will get you nowhere.  
  
RUTO: *thoughtfully* Actually, flattery will get you a lot of places...  
  
ZORA#4: I mean, you get to see a different LuLu, her private side. What a feeling! It must be so- huh? *realizes MIKAU and RUTO have grown bored and left*  
  
(meanwhile, Mikauand Ruto have FINALLY found Evans' room)  
  
EVANS: Mikau! Finally! Where were you??! Did you get the eggs back?!  
  
MIKAU: Uhm... Yes?  
  
EVANS: Good! Take them to the Marine Research Center! Hurry! Only you can do it! Do you know why?  
  
MIKAU: Well, I-   
  
EVANS: Shaddup, it was a rhetorical question.  
MIKAU: (O_o)=C  
  
EVANS: Because you have the blood of Zoran Warriors flowing through your veins!  
  
RUTO: They must've all been pretty dang pathetic...  
  
EVANS: ....  
  
MIKAU: We're leaving now...  
  
So Ruto and Mikau head outside to where the Zora wanted them to do that "Thing" to talk.  
  
MIKAU: I DON'T have the eggs!  
  
RUTO: So?  
  
MIKAU: Well, think!   
  
RUTO: That sounded weird, coming from you...  
  
MIKAU: Grah, anyway: TSURA IS IN ONE OF THOSE EGGS!!  
  
RUTO: RELAX! This is an AU, remember? The Tsura in Clock Town right now will be fine! All we have to do is play the New Wave Bossa Nova for LuLu. Then we'll be able to get to the Great Bay Temple.  
  
MIKAU: Isn't that mean, tricking her into thinking her eggs are safe?  
  
RUTO: Well I-  
  
*************DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY******************  
--------------------48 HOURS REMAIN----------------------  
  
RUTO: Sheesh, we were up all night, and I'm not even tired!  
  
MIKAU: That's 'cause we're video game characters!   
  
RUTO: ...  
  
MIKAU: I wonder what fairy-boy is doing right now...?  
  
  
==============================================================  
[1] If you check the sign outside of JabuJabu in OOT, you find her father has a big ol' number after his name. So why not her too?  
[2]I'm not sure what it's called, actually...  
  
[3] I THINK this is his name... I know the manager is named Toto....  
  
There! It's done! Well, Part 3 anyway. This darn chaptering thing is driving me nuts! As promised, here's the bio for Mikau:  
  
~~~Mikau Aoi~~~   
NAME: Mikau Aoi (I made up the last name: It's "blue" in Japenese)  
RACE: Zora  
AGE: ??? (about 22 in my fic)  
HOMELAND: Zora Hall, Termina  
WEAPON OF CHOICE: His own fin blades!  
INSTRUMENT: Fishbone Guitar  
FAIRY: Ruto  
CLAIM TO FAME: A rockin' guitarist in a kick-arse band!  
QUOTE(s): "Dude!"  
  
All right, next chapter, poor Link stuck with the ghosties and ghoulies in Ilkana! 'Til then, ja!  



	5. Part One, Chapter 4- Beware!! GHOULIES!!...

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
THE SEARCH FOR THE OCARINA OF TIME; Part 4~ Day 1: Link At The Canyon  
  
PICCOLO: *walks in* Akai Ku is sick, so I will be doing our disclaimer. *grumbles* Akai Ku does not own the characters from The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask. She also does not own the areas as described in the actual game. The events in the following story are either the creations of Shigeryu Miamoto, ot actually of Akai Ku. These are the standard disclaimers. *growling* Have a nice day.  
  
AKAI: *from her room* *sarcasticly* Lovely Piccolo-san. How can I ever repay you?  
  
PICCOLO: ...with the twenty bucks you promised me for doing all of this.  
  
AKAI: ...*cough* ...  
  
PICCOLO: .... It's starting...  
  
  
  
***********DAWN OF THE FIRST DAY*****************  
----------------------72 HOURS REMAIN--------------  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ILKANA CANYON~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
LINK: *appears after playing "Song of Soaring"* Aww... Sheesh I hate this place... Zombies and Garos and...AHH!  
  
KEESE: *flies by Link's head*  
  
LINK: A MONSTER!!! *slips off the edge of the canyon* WHOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- *hits water*   
  
SPLASH!  
  
LINK: Ahh...crud...WHOAA!!! A ZOMBIFIED SLIME BALL!! *scrambles out of water*  
  
OCTOROCK #1: *is confused*  
  
LINK: Good Goddesses... I HATE this place... The only reason I CAME here wsa because of a stupid fairy...  
  
NAVI: So I _wasn't_ the most annoying one!  
  
LINK: ITAI! What are YOU doing here?!  
  
NAVI:Ahem *gets out tiny copy of the "Majora's Mask" instruction manual*: Ahem: "A deep and personal quest, for a dear friend...  
  
LINK: *Sweatdrop*  
  
NAVI: "A friend who, after reaching his destiny and saving Hyrule, he parted ways..."*slams manual shut* Need I say more?!  
  
LINK: O_O;; No...  
  
NAVI: So you were looking for me, eh?!  
  
LINK: Well, actually...  
  
NAVI: You know how HAPPY that makes me?!  
  
LINK: Well...  
  
NAVI: THIS happy! *puts on sunglasses and begins to...SING*  
  
"HEY! LISTEN!   
You make my eyes glisten with teeeeaaaaaarsss..."  
  
LINK: What the @%^$?! *is run over by train labelled "CENSORS" Owww....  
  
NAVI: *still singing*  
  
"HEY! LISTEN!  
You've made me abolish my feaarsss (of abandonment)!  
  
"I've never ever ever had so much fun,   
By shouting 'Wow those Iron Boots look like they weigh a ton',   
Over and over 'till yo want to blast me intoooooooooooooo...  
....OBLIVION!"  
  
LINK: Oh dear Nayore HELP Me!! *starts bashing head against a rock*  
  
NAVI: *changes beat*  
  
"Hey now, Listen now,  
Listen to me sing - wow!  
Didja' know that you were loved?"  
  
LINK: ...I think I would've liked it if I had remained oblivious to that fact....  
  
NAVI: *singing*  
  
"So WHAT if I ain't purple like that stupid Tael,  
Or can't jingle-ling like annoying Tatl,  
I mean what's so cool about ringing like a beeeeeeelllll?  
They're all as stupid as HELL!! *gets squished by a mallet labelled "CENSORS"  
  
LINK: I love my life. *bows head in silent thanks*  
  
SCARY GRINNING IDIOT: *prances around*   
  
LINK: ITAI!! A MONSTER!! *hides behind pier* Oh Din, oh Din, oh Din... *sees squished form of NAVI* Navi, show me its weak point!  
  
NAVI: *unconcious*  
  
LINK: Aww, crud! *picks up NAVI and chucks her at SCARY GRINNING IDIOT*  
  
NAVI: *turns blue*  
  
LINK: You mean it's....a PERSON!? *collapses in fright*  
  
***********NIGHT OF THE FIRST DAY***********  
------------------60 HOURS REMAIN------------------  
  
NAVI: Hey! Link! Wake up!  
  
LINK: Uhn... *sadly* Oh, you're alive...  
  
NAVI: No time for that! You slept past 6 PM!!  
  
LINK: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  
  
NAVI: What?!  
  
LINK: It's ZombieVille at night!! *sucks thumb*  
  
NAVI: Whoo boy... And they say I'M dumb... Link, don't you have a mask that makes the undead think you're one of them?  
  
LINK: *racks tiny peanut brain* Oh yeah! Three of them! *reaches for random mask, and pulls out Garo's Mask*  
  
GARO#1: *appears* Master, did you call?   
  
LINK: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
GARO#1: What, dost something beath on mine face?  
  
LINK: ...  
  
NAVI: Do you even HAVE a face...?  
  
GARO#1: I am hurt.  
  
LINK: ...*shiver*  
  
GARO#1: Hey! You're not my master! Wh-what are you?!  
  
LINK: Uhm, the Hero of Time?  
  
GARO#1: All right Hero of Time, I'm going to ...  
  
LINK: *Shakes*  
  
GARO#1: SELL YOU HORSE INSURANCE!!!  
  
LINK/NAVI: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! *run like hell (gets hit by a mallet). Hey, you can't hurt ME, the astrisks person!!*  
  
GARO#1: ...  
  
LINK: *uses his hookshot to climb up to the top of the canyon* Oh thank Faroe... *pants*  
  
NAVI: Hey! Listen!  
  
LINK: WHAT?!  
  
NAVI: I just thougt you should take off the darned mask...  
  
LINK: Oh yeah...*takes off mask*  
  
NAVI: Well, NOW where do we go?  
  
LINK: .... Hey, look, a house! And it doesn't look haunted!  
  
NAVI: Link, the darned thing has a giant phonograph horn sticking out of it...  
  
LINK: C'mon, let's go! *dashes is off but is frozen by a GIBDO!! NOOOOO!!!*  
  
NAVI: *watches Link get the life sucked out of him* That looks... Wrong...  
  
LINK: *uses Din's Fire* AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *runs behind a rock*  
  
NAVI: Well pal, looks like we can't get in...  
  
LINK: Easy! When the music plays, the goulies go away!!  
  
NAVI: ... Uhm, right...how do we get it to start?  
  
LINK: *beaming* We go into that big, creepy cave!  
  
NAVI: *sweatdrop*  
  
LINK: C'mon! *runs in*  
  
NAVI: *reads sign aloud:* "Spring Water Cave Entry prohibited due to ghost sightings!" Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnkkkkkkkkkkkk!!! *runs in after him*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~INSIDE SPRINGWATER CAVE~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
LINK: Sure is dark in here...and purple...  
  
VOICE COMING FROM NOWHERE: What business have you in Ikana Kingdom, land where only the dead roam?  
  
NAVI: *flies in* LIIIINK!!  
  
LINK: *spooked* Wh-what?  
  
GHOST OF SHARP: *appears*  
  
NAVI: ...that.  
  
LINK: *squeaking* Mommy... I really don't like that sharp pointy thing he's holding...  
  
NAVI: Ditto...  
  
SHARP: This is no place for one so full of life as you.  
  
LINK/NAVI: *sweatdrop*  
  
SHARP: Or do you say that you wish to join the dead?  
  
LINK: I n-never said anything...  
  
SHARP:That is fine...  
  
LINK: NO IT'S NOOOOOT!!!  
  
SHARP: If that is the case, then sleep gently to the melody of darkness that the great composer, Sharp, shall play...  
  
LINK: Oh good, I'm sleepy...  
  
NAVI: NO YOU IDIOT!! HE MEANS "SLEEP" AS IN "DIE"!!  
  
LINK: Huh?  
  
SHARP: ...and join the ranks of the dead.  
  
LINK: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
NAVI: Toldja'...  
  
SHARP: *starts playing*  
  
LINK: *getting his health drained away*  
  
NAVI: LINK!! LINK!! PLAY THE SONG OF STORMS!! PLAY IT!!  
  
LINK: *ugh!* *has dreamy look on face*  
  
NAVI: LIIIIIIIIIINK!! WHAT'S WITH YOU?! *annoying "Only Three Hearts Left" beep starts up*  
  
LINK: Oh, I dunno, I just like the goth...  
  
NAVI: *facefault* PLAY THE SONG!!  
  
LINK: Uhm... Right! *plays "Song of Storms" *it starts to rain*  
  
SHARP: W-what is this?  
  
NAVI: I don't know... How CAN it rain inside a cave...?  
  
SHARP: ...This song?  
  
NAVI: Oh.  
  
SHARP: N-no, it can't be. This song...  
  
LINK: *dying from confusion*  
  
*Cave goes all swirly while annoying shreeching plays. SHARP shrinks, then vanishes, purple leaves, water flows, and REALLY gay music comes from the Music Box House*  
  
GIBDO#7: AHH!! My hears!! *hides underground*  
  
NAVI: I think we got rid of him...  
  
LINK: *Sweatdrop* Ro SHARP: *reappears* Flat, my dear brother.  
  
NAVI: Spoke too soon *sweatdrop*.  
  
SHARP: Forgive your foolish brother who dreamt of the revival of the Royal Family...  
  
LINK: I'm with Malon.  
  
NAVI/SHARP: ???  
  
LINK: *sweatdrops* Oops, wrong Royal Family...  
  
SHARP: ...Ye who do not fear the dead...  
  
LINK: I-I never said that...  
  
SHARP: With my brother's song, you have broken the curse that was placed upon me.  
  
LINK: Actually, I learned it from a freak in a windmill...  
  
SHARP: It is all thanks to you.  
  
LINK: *blushes* Aw shucks...  
  
SHARP: We dead should not be lingering here in this land.  
  
NAVI: THAT'S RIGHT!!  
  
SHARP: It was all a trick of the masked one who had upset things.  
  
NAVI: *sweatdrop*  
  
LINK: I'm beginning to see a pattern here...  
  
SHARP: If you truly do not fear the dead...  
  
LINK: *gulp*  
  
SHARP: I wish for you to go to the temple in this land and sever the root of the evil curse that torments us.  
  
LINK: Ain't that a bit much...?  
  
SHARP: To do that...  
  
LINK: *sigh* Never mind...  
  
SHARP: I, the only one who knows the way into the temple, shall direct you to the King.  
  
NAVI: Why don't you just tell us where the temple is?  
  
SHARP: The King is in the ruins of Ikana Castle, awaiting the coming of one who will break the curse.  
  
LINK: Ikana Castle!? That's where Death is!!!  
  
NAVI/SHARP: Wha?  
  
LINK: Ooops...  
  
PICCOLO (from author-land): Akai says she'll kill you if you let anything else slip.  
  
LINK: *sweatdrop* Yessir...  
  
PICCOLO: *leaves* ([1])  
  
SHARP: Uhm.... *picks up Majora's Mask script* Ahem: I have made my final request.  
  
LINK: Good!  
  
SHARP: *vanishes*  
  
NAVI: Wow Link! You just made it through an entire conversation with a ghost!!  
  
LINK: ...  
  
NAVI: Link? LINK?!  
  
LINK: *passes out*  
  
NAVI: Woo boy... *sleeps*  
  
*************DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY*************  
-------------------48 HOURS REMAIN-----------------------  
  
NAVI: Link, get up! We're going!  
  
LINK: Nuh-uh. I know this cave isn't haunted now, so I'm STAYING!!  
  
NAVI: I'll tell the ReDead where you are!  
  
LINK: Itai! *gets up* Wonder what Tsura's doing in nice, safe, Clock Town...  
  
===================================================================  
[1] I smell a fanfic...a serious one...  
  
Sooooo, there we have it! Once again *cough cough* thanks for your reviews, and here's your bio! Ja!  
  
----LINK----  
  
NAME: Link  
  
AGE: (12 in this)  
  
HOMELAND: Kokori Forest, Hyrule  
  
INTRUMENT: Ocarina of Time (copy)  
  
WEAPON OF CHOICE: Gilded Sword  
  
FAIRY: Navi  
  
CLAIM TO FAME: Saved TWO worlds =P  
  
QUOTE(s): "Z-zombies..."  



	6. Part One, Chapter 5- Just A Little X-Ov...

The Search For The Ocarina Of Time: Part One, Chapter 5: Day One, Tsura in Clock Town  
  
AKAI: *from shadows* Well, I'm better. Sorry about Piccolo's rudeness. I beat him up for it.   
  
*coughing and snickering is heard*  
  
AKAI: Uhm, well, actually....*walks out of shadows to reveal crutches, a cast, a black-eye, etc.* Errm.... This teaches us not to attack someone with a power-level of 300,000,000 when yours is about.... 43. *sweatdrop*   
  
Anyway, this is slower than Dampe when the Inverted Song Of Time is played due to the fact that my parents are divorced, and only Dad has a computer. Gomen!   
  
BTW, be prepared for some more anime-crossover goodness! What anime? Why? Let's just say it's "Just communication!"  
  
Enough blabbing. Heeeeeereee we gooooooooooo......  
  
*****************DAWN OF THE FIRST DAY***************  
----------------------------72 Hours Remain-----------------------  
  
  
TSURA: *watches everyone else leave* OOOOOKKKK.... *takes a look at Clock Town* Sheesh, this place is big... Where to begin?  
  
FUNKY FREAK IN PIKACHU MASK: *walks to the mailbox*  
  
TSURA: *rolls eyes* Oh, yipee: Ye Olde Suspicious Character... *runs right up to him* Hey! Have you seen-  
  
KAFEI (as the dude is; I DID mark this for spoilers, y'know, but the hair DOES make it obvious...): *is oblivious*  
  
TSURA: Hello? *taps him on the head with her hookshot*  
  
KAFEI: *opens up the mailbox*  
  
TSURA: ......nice shoes....  
  
KAFEI: *walks back to the LAUNDRY POOL*   
  
TSURA: ...uhm... What the hey.... *follows*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~LAUNDARY POOL*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
KAFEI: *Walks into door*  
  
TSURA: *tries to open the door, but it's locked*  
  
RED FAIRY: Heh heh heh. This chapter is going nowhere fast.  
  
TSURA: Nani?  
  
RED FAIRY: Well, that door's gonna' stay locked unless you do something 'bout it, sister. Tell you what: I'll be your fairy partner!   
  
TSURA: ...erm...You're just one of those fairies that come out of Gossip Stones when you play Epona's Song, shove in a bottle to use when you fight Majora, then DON'T use at all...  
  
RED FAIRY: *rings angerly* THOSE are not RED!! Those are PINK!! P-I-N-K!! I'm the Spirit of The Sage of Fire, Darunia, and don't you forget it!!!  
  
DILANDAU: BUUUUURN!!!!  
  
XIIIREDXIII*from author-land* YOU! GET BACK IN MY ESCA FIC!! NOW!!!  
  
DILANDAU: *sulks off*  
  
DARUNIA: ...  
  
TSURA: ...^.^;;; Soooooo....  
  
DARUNIA: Well, if you want to open the door, you first need supplies!! To West Clock Town!! *zooms off*  
  
TSURA: ...let's go then.... *runs off to SOUTH CLOCK TOWN*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~SOUTH CLOCK TOWN (again)*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
DARUNIA: *stops*  
  
TSURA: *rolls two main eyes* Whaaaaat?  
  
DARUNIA: Eh-heh-heh...where's West Clock Town?  
  
TSURA: -_- To the WEST.  
  
DARUNIA: Heh...right.... *flies off*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~WEST CLOCK TOWN~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
DARUNIA & TSURA: *enter*   
  
TSURA: Good Goddesses, we're the most messed up people here....  
  
*SILENT SOLDIER, BRAIDED BAKA, THE UNIBANGER, BLOND BISHI, and SEXIST CHINESE GUY walk in through WEST GATE*  
  
SEXIST CHINESE GUY: You stupid weakling, what are we doing in a fanfic under the Games, Zelda topic?!  
  
BRAIDED BAKA: *annoyed* Becaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuussssssseeeeeeeeeeee my sister is in Termina somewhere!! She said so! So THERE :p   
  
SCG: *sigh*  
  
TSURA: *sweatdrop* Spoke too soon....  
  
BLOND BISHI: Duo, even if Akai IS here, which I doubt....  
  
"DUO": *snort*  
  
BB: ...I still think it'd be hard to find her...  
  
TSURA: !! Akai has a brother?! *runs up to strange people* 'scuse me.... You said you're Akai's brother?  
  
SILENT SOLDIER OF SPANDEX: Who the hell else is crazy enough to be- *is hit with mallet labelled "CENSORS"* Kuso... *is hit by riceballs labelled "CENSORS"* Oh COME ON...!!  
  
DUO: Heero, I DO have to be "The Great Destroyer" here...  
  
"HEERO": *rolls eyes* A fate worse than death, eh?  
  
DUO: NO! DEATH IS FUUUUUUUN!!!!  
  
TSURA: *gawking* HE. IS. A. BLOOD. RELATIVE.  
  
DARUNIA: Hmm...I've never known Akai to be obsessed with death...  
  
TSURA: *shakes head* No...they're both INSANE!  
  
THE UNIBANGER: ///_- *is raising an eyebrow under there!* You know Akai Ku?  
  
TSURA: Yes....  
  
DUO: ISSHEHEREHUHUHUH?!  
  
DARUNIA/TSURA: O_o  
  
TSURA: Uhm... No. She's in a snowy cold place... But's it's really dangerous ....  
  
DUO: We have to go save her!!  
  
SCG: Duo, she does not need saving...well, YOU saving her anyway....  
  
DUO: ~_- What do you mean by THAT, WuFei?  
  
"WUFEI": Well, there was the time in the tiger pit, and you were overcaffienated, and she knocked out the tiger with a rock...  
  
HEERO: *butting in* On her second shot. Her first shot hit Duo. *smirks* Not that I'm upset about this...  
  
TSURA: ????HUH????  
  
BB: Don't worry... It's from a seriously old fic of hers....My name's Quatre Raberba Winner.  
  
TSURA: I'm Tsura Aoi, a crea- er, friend of Akai's. This is Darunia, my fairy partner.  
  
DARUNIA: WAAAASSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP????  
  
ALL(but DARUNIA): *sweatdrop*  
  
DARUNIA: ...I have no clue why I did that, brothers and sister...  
  
TU: Easy... XIIIRedXIII's on a sugar-high...  
  
HEERO: Hn.  
  
DUO: ...you're probably right, Trowa. So fishy-thingummy...  
  
TSURA: *annoyed* TSURA.  
  
DUO: Whatever. Can you take us to Akai or whatever?  
  
TSURA: Well, she'll be here in about three or four days... Might as well hang around.  
  
ALL GUNDAM BOYS: OK! *scatter*   
  
DARUNIA: ...  
  
TSURA: Akai doing a crossover...sad...  
  
DARUNIA: Ahem, weren't we going to get supplies....?  
  
TSURA: I don't need them! Just me and my trusy Hookshot!   
  
DARUNIA: Whatever you say... But listen sister, if we're staying for three days, we gotta' find a place to...well, STAY!  
  
TSURA: Don't they have an inn? East Clock Town, right?  
  
DARUNIA: Yeah...  
  
TSURA: Well, let's go... Maybe we'll find the Ocarina while we're at it...  
  
DARUNIA: Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeee..............  
  
TSURA: Why you stupid...! *chases DARUNIA into south Clock Town*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~SOUTH CLOCK TOWN*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
TSURA: Hey....isn't that the Chinese guy, uhm, WuFei, arguing with that Deku Scrub?  
  
DARUNIA: *sweatdrop* Sure looks like it...  
  
WUFEI: *to DEKU MERCHANT* You stupid weakling!! I do not want to use your pathetic weak flower!! And NO, there is no way in Nataku that I am going to give you some stupid stone for your pathetic WEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK onna!!!  
  
DEKU MERCHANT: .....!!!!!..!..,.. *is really afriad* *burrows under flower*  
  
WUFEI: YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BATTLE ME?!!! Weakling, WEAKLING, WEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIINGGGGGG!!! INJUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEE!!!  
  
TSURA: Uhm...hi WuFei.  
  
WUFEI: *upset that his tantrum's been interupted* WHAT?!  
  
TSURA: Did...you eh heh...see an...Ocarina...anywhere? *sweatdrop*  
  
WUFEI: NO. Leave me alone. I wish to whine in peace!!  
  
TSURA: Ooookaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy...*walks away into EAST CLOCK TOWN with DARUNIA  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~EAST CLOCK TOWN~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
DARUNIA: Well, here we are saying here we are...  
  
GUY IN RED SHIRT: Hoo hoo hoo! You're the only one saying anything!  
  
  
DARUNIA: *rings angerly* Well YOU just opened your big trap!!  
  
GUY IN BLUE SHIRT: Hmmm... He seems a bit cocky for a fairy.  
  
GUY IN RED SHIRT: A 50-Rupee fairy at that!  
  
GUY IN BLUE SHIRT: Hoo hoo hoo.  
  
GUY IN RED SHIRT: I have a million of them!  
  
DARUNIA: *fuming* THAZZIT!! I'm GOING TO POUND YOU TWO INTO THE GROUND!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
GUY IN BLUE SHIRT: Hoo hoo hoo. And how does he intend to do that?  
  
GUY IN RED SHIRT: I'd say he's fairly stupid for a fairy!  
  
BOTH GUYS: Hoo hoo hoo!!  
  
TSURA: *dies from bad puns*  
  
DARUNIA: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM?!  
  
TSURA: DARUNIA!! YOU ARE NOT A GIANT GORON ANYMORE!! YOU ARE A smmmmmaaalllll FAIRY!!  
  
DARUNIA: ......  
.......  
....*long pause*  
...........oh.  
But can we at least kill these annoying freaks, my sista?!  
  
TSURA: Sure! *puts on Goron Mask* Ech...ugh....AIIIYYYAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! *appears as...DARUNIA!*  
  
DARUNIA: ....YOU. CAN USE. MY. BODY?!!  
  
GORON TSURA: Problem?!  
  
GUY IN BLUE SHIRT: "Use his body"?  
  
GUY IN RED SHIRT: Oh HOO HOO HOO!!  
  
DARUNIA/GORONTSURA: :x  
  
DARUNIA: Please...that's just plain wrong. KILL THEM!!  
  
GORON TSURA: OK! *takes out Powder Keg*   
  
POWDER KEG: *tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick BOOOOOOOM!!!!!!*  
  
*bits of Red and Blue and juggling balls go flying everywhere*  
  
DUO: *from roof of SHOOTING GALLERY* OOOOOOOOO! Big Blast Go BOOM!!  
  
GORON TSURA: *takes off mask*  
  
* vwoowoowoowoo woo, vawoowoowoo Shhhhhheeeeeeen!*   
  
TSURA: We're getting odd looks...  
  
DARUNIA: Uhm, the Stock Pot Inn is right there, Tsura... *flies in*  
  
TSURA: Wait up! *enters*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~STOCK POT INN~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
TSURA: Hey, it's the spandex-guy!  
  
HEERO: *arguing with ANJU* Give me a room.  
  
ANJU: I'm sorry sir, but you need a reservation...  
  
HEERO: *pulls out gun* Omae o korosu. (meaning, "I'll kill you")  
  
ANJU:*reallyfast*Rightthiswayupthestairsitsourspecialknifechamberveryfittingnamehahahahavanicedaysir. *bows so fast she smashes her head against the counter*  
  
HEERO: Hn. *walks upstairs to "his" room*  
  
DARUNIA: The lady...doesn't look so well...  
  
TSURA: I don't think we'll be getting a room very easily.... But, what the hey? *to ANJU* 'scuse me, miss?  
  
ANJU: ......purpleeee....  
  
TSURA: *sweatdrop* Erm, yes, purple, I agree with you on that point. Do you have a room?  
  
ANJU: Keaton...a purple Keaton!! Roooooooooooooooom? Take key...  
  
  
BA-BA-BADUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!!!!!!!!  
____________________________________________________________  
[ You got the KEY FROM AROUND ANJU'S NECK!! ] [   
[ You're not sure why she told you to take this one..other than she was ]   
[ bleeding from her head at the time.... ]  
[ ] [ ]  
[ ___________________________________________________________  
  
  
TSURA: Something tells me that we should check out the room...  
  
DARUNIA: What?! It's only 2 PM!!   
  
TSURA: I mean, it might be odd.....*they find the room that the key fits and enters. Cozy fireplace,bed, many books, and GRANDMA in a wheelchair*  
  
GRANDMA: Ooooo, Tortus. Would you like me to read you a story?  
  
TSURA: *trying to be polite* Suuuure... Uhm, how about "Four Giants"?  
  
GRRANDMA: Ooh, that's a good one. Once upon a.... *DARUNIA and TSURA black out*  
  
***************DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY************************  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~48 HOURS REMAIN~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
TSURA: *yawn* Wha?  
  
GRANDMA: Oh hoh hoh hoh. I guess that story was a bit boring for young Tortus. Well, try again next time.  
  
TSURA: Uh-huh....WHOA!!! It's already the next day!!  
  
DARUNIA: \*O_o */  
  
TSURA: C'mon! Let's go!! *runs out only to trip over QUATRE carrying a tea tray*  
  
TEA: *spills all over everyone*  
  
QUATRE: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! It's HOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!  
  
TSURA: ZORAS ARE SENSITIVE TO HEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!!   
  
DARUNIA: Ahhhhhhh........FIRE!!  
  
TSURA: I *ouch!* w-wonder *ITAI!* what the Skull *owwwww* Kid will be d-d-OOIng todaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!????????????  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
END OF PART ONE  
  
Wow! I never thought it would go this far. I'm really sorry it took so long. We're officially in Part 2. O_o Day 2's antics of the Skull Kid!! He'll get a fairy...check out a temple...  
  
Oh, almost forgot the bio:  
  
~~~~~~~TSURA~~~~~~~~~~~  
NAME: Tsura Aoi  
AGE: 11  
RACE: Zora  
HOMELAND: Zora Hall, Great Bay, Termina.   
FAIRY: Darunia  
WEAPON OF CHOICE: Hookshot  
INSTRUMENT OF CHOICE: Fish Bone Guitar  
CLAIM TO FAME: Is Mikau and LuLu's kid! 'nuff said!  
QUOTE(s): "We must be the strangest people here.... Spoke too soon."  
  
Thanks again for the wonderful reviews! Oh, and the Gundam Pilots will ONLY be showing up in Clock Town, if you have a problem with crossovers. And yes, in most of my self-insertaion fics, I am Duo's younger sister. Meaning I'm not a rival :p  
  
Till Part Two: Chapter 6, Ja ne!   
  
~Akai Ku  
Official Little Sister of Duo Maxwell  
Great Destroyer of Sanity  
Lunatic In General  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. Part Two, Chapter 6: The Days Aren't The...

  
  
The Search For The Ocarina Of Time~ Part 2, Chapter 6: Day 2: Skull Kid in the Southern Swamp  
  
ITAAAAAAI!! I am back. I decided since you guys liked this I'd *ahem* BEND my rule of working at one thing at a time. Special thanks to Ryo Ohki.... Er.... Ryo Ohki... Well, there's a number on the end, I THINK it's 129, but I don't want to screw up, but you can get to her profile through mine (she's on my faves).... Well, thanks to her for helping me with this chapter, and READ HER BALLAD. The poor girl.... NO SHE DID NOT PUT ME UP TO THIS. I love it, and she's worked veeeery hard.   
  
Also, please R&R "Shin no Ai" (that's SHIN no ai, not SHOUNEN Ai.... Honestly....), and do NOT R&R "I'm in!!!"  
  
Enough chat. I'm sugar-high. Lezgo!  
  
===================================================================  
*****************DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY****************  
-------------------------------48 Hours Remain-------------------------------  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~SOUTHERN SWAMP~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
SKULL KID: Uhm.... Lezzee here... I'm supposed to go to this "Woodfall" place....why?  
  
???: To advance the plot, bimbo.  
  
SKULL KID: Eh...? *sees TATL* EHHHHHYAAAA!!!  
  
TATL: *glares evily at SKULL KID*  
  
SKULL KID: Er... I was just... Uhm, FOOLING AROUND when I left you behind...Uhm, I was GONNA' come back...REALLY!  
  
TATL: ...Let's go...  
  
SKULL KID: *swallows* O...K... *takes out flute and plays Song Of Soaring; dissapears with TATL in a flash of wings*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~WOODFALL~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
SKULL KID/TATL: *appear*  
  
TATL: *sniff sniff* This smells worse than your sock drawer....  
  
SKULL KID: ...do I WEAR socks?  
  
TATL: *looks at SKULL KID's feet* No... You just wear funky Piccolo shoes...  
  
SKULL KID: ...so does Kafei...  
  
TATL: ...  
  
SKULL KID: ANYWAY... *just appears with TATL at temple gate*  
  
TATL: Howd'ja do THAT?!  
  
SKULL KID: Lazy author ^_^  
  
TATL: ....-_-*; figures.  
  
SKULL KID: Mweeheeheehee.... *enters temple*  
  
*************WOODFALL TEMPLE***********  
  
SKULL KID: Well, ah, lezzee... *tries to hop to a flower platform, but falls waaaaaaay too short and lands on the floor* Oops...  
  
TATL: I sense an evil presence in this room...O_o  
  
SKULL KID: ....O_O....*softly* Uh, T-Tatl...?  
  
TATL: *concerned* What...?  
  
SKULL KID: *very very softly* I think I'm ready to tell you my secret now...*is very serious*  
  
TATL: Wha.... What is it...?  
  
SKULL KID: *barely audiable; mist rising from his mouth*   
  
I see dead people...   
  
*bursts out laughing as bottle of Hot Spring Water falls out of his shirt*  
  
TATL: *fumes* Grrrrrrrr...!!  
  
SKULL KID: *rolling on the floor* Mweeheeheehee!! C'mon Tatl, an 'evil presence'?! That's is SOOOOO lame! Huh?  
  
BLACK BOE #45243: Eeaaaaach!!  
  
SKULL KID: Huh? AHHHHH!!!  
  
TATL: *smirking* Told'ja...  
  
  
  
SKULL KID: AAAAIIIIIIEEEE!!!  
  
BLACK BOE#3948 EAAAACH!!  
  
BLACK BOES: EAAAAAACH!!  
  
SKULL KID: Huh? Wha?!  
  
BLACK BOE # 45213: EAAAAACH ... Rupee you earn will be speant on MASK POLISH!  
  
TATL: ...  
  
SKULL KID: ...  
  
*long pause*  
  
SKULL KID: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *freezes them all with Deku Nuts and scrambles back up to the platform*  
  
SKULL KID: *pant pant*   
  
TATL: *snicker snicker snicker*  
  
SKULL KID: Laugh it up, light bulb. *uses the flowers to get to the door*  
  
TATL: H-how'd YOU do that?  
  
SKULL KID: *grins* Not teeeeeeling!  
  
TATL: ... *walk into the next room* Ugh! If it smelled like your sockdrawer out there, THIS smell's like your locker room!  
  
SKULL KID: ? I have a locker room?  
  
TATL: Or your underwear drawer. *gets hit with a cow labelled "CENSORS"* Aw, come ON!   
  
COW: Moooooo?  
  
SKULL KID: ...  
  
TATL: This is just _stupid_. WHY just for THAT line? WHY a cow?!   
  
SKULL KID: Uhmm.... Lighten up, Tatl! There must be SOME use for it...  
  
TATL: *turning an angry red* Like WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
SKULL KID: Uhm.... Milk! *quickly plays Epona's Song and holds out an empty bottle*  
  
COW: MooOooOooOoo!! *fills up bottle with milk*  
  
SKULL KID: *drinks milk aat instant it is recieved to try and soothe TATL's wraith* *makes a face* This stuff tastes like NARF!   
  
TATL: "Narf"? ???  
  
SKULL KID: Huh? What the NARF did I mean by- NARF it! What in the name of NARFing NARF is goin' on here?!  
  
TATL: Dummy, read the label on the bottle...  
  
SKULL KID: Huh?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~MAD COW MILK~~~~~~~  
You should not drink from a cow with Mad Cow Disease. You  
will be unable to swear for 24 hours. Do not pass Go. Do not  
collect $200.  
  
SKULL KID: *sweatdrop* Uh-oh... Well, at least I'll...be safe from the censors?  
  
TATL: Yeah yeah... Look down there! All of those locked doors... Go find a key you good-for nothing...!  
  
SKULL KID: OK- Hey!!Wait a second...!  
  
TATL: ???  
  
SKULL KID: That shiny green thing at the entrance...   
  
TATL: ...  
  
SKULL KID: You NARF-head!! We could've skipped all thiiiis!!  
  
TATL: I'm glad we didn't, though ^^  
  
SKULL KID: *random grumbles and NARFs as he walks into the previous room, onto the green pad, and into Odolwa's Layer with TATL*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~ODOLWA'S LAYER~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
SKULL KID: *footsteps echo loudly* Heh... Erm...*brightly* Well, no one's here! Let's get a-moving!  
  
ODOLWA: *drops down from ceiling*  
  
-----MASKED DANCING FREAK: ODOLWA-------  
  
SKULL KID: I thought that was Sakon...  
  
TATL: He doesn't have a mask...  
  
SKULL KID: *shocked* He _doesn't_?! That's his _FACE_?!!!!  
  
ODOLWA: *jibberish*  
  
SKULL KID: What the NARF is he saying?!  
  
TATL: The NARF gag is getting old, Skull Kid....  
  
SKULL KID: *fuming* I CAN'T HELP I---   
  
ODOLWA: WOWAHA!! *smacks SKULL KID with his sword, causing him to go flying across the room until he not-so-gently connects with a wall*  
  
TATL: STICK GUY!! *flies over to SKULL KID, who has a crazed look in his eyes* Are you OK?!!  
  
SKULL KID: THERE! THERE! *pointing randomly* WHAT IS IT SAYING!?!  
  
TATL: ...*thinks about it* Heyada-ho?  
  
SKULL KID: *back to "normal" now, as if he ever was that ^^* Shaddy-wa?  
  
TATL: Ebtisam?  
  
SKULL KID: Toway ka-hah?  
  
TATL: M- HEY! LOOK!  
  
SKULL KID: Huh?   
  
ODOLWA: *swaying* Odolwa-ha, Odolway-hey. Odolwa-ha, Odolwaehay.  
  
SKULL KID: What's it...  
  
TATL: ...doing...?  
  
*GECKOs, SNAPTURTLES, and DEKU BABA's drop fron the ceiling, then get into a congo line with ODOLWA at the head*  
*music begins to play*  
  
ALL BADDIES: *in sinc with the music* Odolwa-HA! *kick* Odolwae-HAY! *kick* Odolwa-HA! Odolwaehay!! *Kick kick!*  
  
TATL: *sweat/jawdrop*  
  
SKULL KID: *grin*  
  
TATL: *frightened* What are YOU so happy about?! This is LUDICRIS!!!  
  
SKULL KID: I-  
  
*******NIGHT OF THE SECOND DAY********  
--------------36 HOURS REMAIN-----------------  
  
SKULL KID: NARF *fumes*, that was supposed to be dramatic...  
  
TATL: *eyes the "Conga Line Of Evil" warily* You were saying?  
  
SKULL KID: Huh? *realization* Oh! Ahem: I HAVE A PLAN!!! *thundercrash, pyroexplosion*  
  
*1*  
  
TATL: *laughs* YOU?! A PLAN?! Puh-leaze!! Since when do YOU come up with plans!?  
  
SKULL KID: I do. *wicked grin* But they're all evil.  
  
TATL: *sweatdrop*  
  
SKULL KID: Mweeheeheehee!! *places bomb in path of the conga-line, and they all walk right into it like morons*   
  
ODOLWA: *heaves himself back up*  
  
SKULL KID: HUUH!?  
  
TATL: *sigh* Did you think ONE bomb-blast could kill him?  
  
SKULL KID: Er, well...ah....  
  
ODOLWA: GRAAAA!!!!!! F*CKAYAY-YOO!! *gets hit by train labelled CENSORS**dies*  
  
SKULL KID: (^=^)   
  
TATL: ...let's get out of here.... That annoying music is bugging the rally-ho outa' me....  
  
SKULL KID: Ral...? Whatever... *go to portal-thingy*  
  
*****LITTLE ROOM BY WOODFALL ENTRANCE(or whatever)******  
  
TATL: Ack, the music is louder here!!!  
  
DEKU PRINCESS: Ex-CUSE me?! Don't you like my pipe-playing?! *looks rabid*  
  
SKULL KID/TATL: Erm....  
  
DEKU PRINCESS: !!!!!!????  
  
SKULL KID: {Oh c'mon, think of something SK, before she kills you...OH!} Y-YES!!  
  
DEKU PRINCESS: *smugly* Good. Did that monkey send you to get me?  
  
TATL: Monkey? What monkey? We just- *is given the "Dig in the Ribs" by SKULL KID, but because of her size just goes flying into a wall*  
  
SKULL KID: Yeah! The monkey's in a hot spot right now though...Literally!! Mweeheeheehee!!  
  
DEKU PRINCESS: WH-WH-WHAT!? FOOLISH FATHER!! TAKE ME TO THE PALACE!! I DON'T CARE HOW!!  
  
SKULL KID: No.  
  
DEKU PRINCESS: WHY NOT?!  
  
SKULL KID: Because.   
  
DEKU PRINCESS: WHY?!  
  
SKULL KID: I don't feel like it.  
  
DEKU PRINCESS: Why?!  
  
SKULL KID: *snickers* I'm TIRED, NARF-head. Mweeheeheehee.  
  
DEKU PRINCESS: Why?  
  
SKULL KID: *taps foot* From goin' through that temple!  
  
DEKU PRINCESS: Why?  
  
SKULL KID: *fuming* To find an ocarina!!  
  
DEKU PRINCESS: Why?   
SKULL KID: *screaming two inches from DEKU PRINCESS's face* SO WE DON'T ALL DIE WHEN THAT MOON COMES DOWN, IDIOT!!!   
  
DEKU PRINCESS: Why?  
  
SKULL KID: *snaps* OK!! I'll take you to the palace!!! Just shhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuy uuuup!!!!  
  
DEKU PRINCESS: Carry me.  
  
SKULL KID: (O.o) Not a Neo-Ruto...  
  
DEKU PRINCESS: In a bottle!  
  
SKULL KID: !!  
  
*insert 'Deku in a Bottle' Joke here. I think it's been done*  
  
SKULL KID: *shoves the Deku Princess in a bottle* Mweeheeheehee! That felt good! (^=^) C'mon, Tatl! *leaves*  
  
TATL: *woozily* H-half a minute.... *follows SKULL KID out*  
  
************WOODFALL**************  
  
TATL: The-the- the stench is GONE!!  
  
SKULL KID: Yay.  
  
TATL:?! Don't you CARE?!  
  
SKULL KID: Do think I can SMELL with this ... This...this.... *gestures at his beak* this THING!  
  
TATL: ....  
  
PRINCESS IN A BOTTLE: Hey, beaky-boy, move it or lose it, unless you want to know 'why'....  
  
SKULL KID: Eeep... *scampers off*  
  
*****DEKU PALACE*****  
  
SKULL KID: *leaps over charred carcasses of the gaurds*  
  
********DEKU THRONE ROOM*******  
DEKU KING: Commence the punishment!!  
  
MONKEY: *is dipped into the boiling pot* OOOOOOOOOO-EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!  
  
  
SKULL KID/TATL: *walk in*   
  
SKULL KID:Whoa... That lo-  
  
BUTLER: Aha! Intruders!  
  
SKULL KID/TATL: *are thrown out*  
  
*******DEKU PALACE****  
  
SKULL KID: Oooww....  
  
PRINCESS IN A BOTTLE: You've gotta' be faster, scarecrow-boy.  
  
SKULL KID: What's with the name calling?! *sniff*   
  
TATL: *siiiigh*  
  
SKULL KID: *runs off to try again* *leaps over charred carcasses of the gaurds*  
  
******DEKU THRONE ROOM*******  
  
SKULL KID/TATL: *walk in*  
  
MONKEY: *still being subjected to horrible torture*  
  
SKULL KID: ...uh...  
  
DEKU BUTLER: Aha! An intruder!  
  
SKULL KID/TATL: *get thrown out again*  
  
*****OUTSIDE....******  
  
PRINCESS IN A BOTTLE: What's WITH you?!  
  
SKULL KID: Uh, well, you, er, said to go faster, but ah... What am I s'posesed ta DO faster...? *sweatdrop*  
  
PIAB: *fumes so hard the cork to her bottle goes flying off, hitting TATL*  
  
TATL: Whyyyyyy-  
  
PAIB: J-just TALK to him!!  
  
SKULL KID: Err...Ok. *replaces cork and goes to try again*  
******DEKU THRONE ROOM*******  
  
SKULL KID/TATL: *walk in*  
  
MONKEY: *is still being subjected to horrible torture*  
  
SKULL KID: *starts to walk over to the DEKU KING*  
  
BUTLER: Aha! An intruder! Gaurds, seize them!   
  
SKULL KID/TATL: *are thrown out YET AGAIN*  
  
****OUTSIDE....****  
  
PIAB: CAN'T YOU MOVE ANY FASTER!!!  
  
SKULL KID: Jeez, I'll TRY you bottled NARF!!  
  
TATL: *laughs*  
  
SKULL KID: SILENCE!!  
  
TATL/PIAB: *laugh*  
  
SKULL KID: Ulp... I mean, 'Shut up!'...  
  
TATL: You sound so stupid without the mask...! *laughs*  
  
SKULL KID: GRRRRR... Here we GO AGAIN!!! *runs off*  
  
XIIIREDXIII: *apparation appears from Author-Land* *grumbling about Dilandau* We'd better do this in takes....*vanishes*  
  
+++++TAKE FOUR!+++++++  
  
  
  
SKULL KID: *jumps over charred carcasses of the gaurds*  
  
******DEKU THRONE ROOM*******  
  
SKULL KID/TATL: *walk in*  
  
MONKEY: *is still being subjected to horrible torture*  
  
SKULL KID: *runs up to the DEKU KING*  
  
BUTLER: AHA! INTRUDERS!!  
  
SKULL KID/TATL: *get thrown out YET AGAIN*  
  
*****OUTSIDE*****   
  
PIAB: CAN'T YOU GET IT RIGHT!!!?? IT'S PAST MIDNIGHT ALREADY!!  
  
SKULL KID: How'dja do that?  
  
PAIB: I looked at the bottom of the screan!!  
  
TATL: ....  
  
SKULL KID: I ran as fast as I could....  
  
PAIB: SCREW walking! *a pie hits her from inside the bottle* Blah! Just shout!!  
  
SKULL KID: *grumbling* Yeah, yeah. All right, all right.*runs off to try again*  
  
++++++++TAKE 5!+++++++++  
  
SKULL KID: *jumps over charred carcasses of the gaurds*  
  
******DEKU THRONE ROOM*******  
  
SKULL KID/TATL: *walk in*  
  
MONKEY: *is still being subjected to horrible torture*  
  
SKULL KID: HEY!! YER ROYA-  
  
BUTLER: AHA! INTRUDERS!!  
  
SKULL KID/TATL: *get thrown out AGAIN*  
  
****OUTSIDE....*  
  
TATL: Great, just great.... That just makes them grab us faster!!  
  
PIAB: Well....*lightbulb appears over head* I got it!! THROW me to him!  
  
SKULL KID: I've got pretty NARFy aim...  
  
PAIB: I don't CARE!!  
  
SKULL KID/TATL: Heeeeeeeeere we go again...  
  
++++++TAKE 6!++++++  
  
  
  
SKULL KID: *jumps over charred carcasses of the gaurds*  
  
******DEKU THRONE ROOM*******  
  
SKULL KID/TATL: *walk in*  
  
MONKEY: *is still being subjected to horrible torture*  
  
SKULL KID: *winds up, throws the Deku Princess as far as he can and.....*  
  
SPLASH!!  
  
TATL: O.o   
  
SKULL KID: ...  
  
*hush comes over room*  
  
TATL: You missed...  
  
SKULL KID: I TOLD her I had bad aim....  
  
TATL:...  
  
DEKU KING: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEEEEIZE THEEEEM!!!  
  
SKULL KID/TATL: *are tossed into a cell*  
  
TATL :Tell me:are we screwed?  
  
SKULL KID: *groans and falls asleep*  
  
*******DAWN OF THE FINAL DAY******  
---------------24 HOURS REMAIN--------  
  
SKULL KID: *wakes up* Oy... Well, WHEREVER Akai is, she must be in better shape....  
  
  
==========================================  
  
***1*** :You'll find out about what this is in the epilouge!  
  
Well, there we go. Thanks to everyone who answered the 'what is Odolwa saying' for me. Ack, in a hurry, bye!  



	8. Part Two, Chapter 7: An Exchange With De...

Search For The Ocarina Of Time: Part 2, Chapter Seven  
An Exchange With Death -An Exchange of Many Bad Words  
(or Day 2, Akai at The Northern Mountain)  
  
DISCLAIMER: A disclaimer I stole offa' somebody who stole it from somebody else:  
  
Roses are red,  
Violets are blue,  
I no own,  
So you no sue!  
  
Gregg is ripped off shamelessly from Conker's Bad Fur Day *watches people run* Wait!! He's not a sick.... *sighs* Never mind....  
  
I am so sorry this took so long! *does the Anju bow* I had a little family crisis, but everything's fine now.  
  
On with the show!  
  
**********DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY***********  
------------------48 Hours Remain-----------------  
  
*~*~*~*~MOUNTAIN SMITHY*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
AKAI: *blink blink* Hey, Tael, we're not dead!  
  
*dead silence*  
  
AKAI: Ta....el? *looks around. Sees a sleeping, drooling, SKINNY GUY, and a hunched over, presumably sleeping, STRONG MAN. Continues staring around the tiny cabin until she hits pay-dirt* TAEL!!!  
  
TAEL: *is frozen in a little block of ice*  
  
AKAI: Uh-oh.... This is bad.... {What are my options? Let's see here...  
#1 Wake those two freaks up. Naw, they'd just fight, or look for stinkin' _hot_ _spring_ _water_.  
#2. Use the Fire Arrows! Oh shoot.... I'm out of MP.... Must've fired too many at the disturbing Goron geeze- erm, _Elder_....  
#3. Well, I don't have any blue or green potions... Wait a second...!  
#4. For some reeally stupid, though perhaps in this case, convienient, reason, bottles of green potions are under the snowballs! Just a matter of going outside and gettin' 'em!!} Yes, I know I'm a genius, baby!  
  
*goes to open the door, but entire body is temporarily frozen due to touching the iced-over lock with her pinky*  
  
Drat! Wait... I have an idea... A BRILLIANT idea.... A painful one, too. *pause* Well, here we go...  
*takes deep breath* Fuuuuuuuuuu- CENSORED!!! THIS GETS REALLY BAD IT JUSTall you GOES ON AND ON AND ON. EVERY OBSENITY the IN EVERY LANGUAGE IMAGINABLE IS HERE. LET'S JUST yo' mamma SKIP THIS. PLEASE HOLD  
***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************  
  
AKAI: *pant pant* Eek, even _I_ feel guilty about THAT. Well, let's see what it- Uh-oh...  
  
(the floor begins to tremble. Suddenly, a small volcano emerges from the floor. It spews molten lava everywhere, and AKAI sees TAEL defrost before she blacks out)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~??? ??? ???~*~*~*~*~*  
  
AKAI: Uhhn... What the- *is in a cold room made out of gray marble. Carvings of skulls and torches burning with blue flames are on the pillars* Oh jeez...  
  
GRIM REAPER: *cannot be seen yet; Only shadow is visable looming toward AKAI* *in a deep booming voice* Yooooou are deeeaaaaad Akaiiiiiiiii...  
  
AKAI: oO;  
  
GRIM REAPER: *shadow getting closer* Yoooou are deeaaaaad Akai!! Yoooou areeee- *a "clang" followed by a "thud" is heard* *in higher-pitched voice* Aw, screw this thing! *megaphone comes bouncing toward AKAI, followed by a four-foot-tall Grim Reaper*  
  
AKAI: Uhm...  
  
GRIM REAPER: Hell with it, let's start over again. Ahem: My name is Gregg. I am, as you can tell, the Grim Reaper.  
  
AKAI: Erm... Aren't you a bit... Short?  
  
"GREGG": Well what the hell do you expect me to look like?!!! How many bloody Grim Reapers have you met?!  
  
AKAI: Good point.  
  
GREGG: Well obviously, Miss Akai-Bloody-Ku, you're dead. Now piss off. *begins to walk away into the inky blackness*  
  
  
AKAI: o.o *snaps out of it* H-hey! Wait! What do I do now?! I need to find that ocarina!!  
  
GREGG: *turns around and sighs, burrying his skull in a bony hand* Oh bloody hell... *returns to where AKAI is, sticks his scythe in the ground, snaps his skeletal fingers, causing a scroll to appear, and begins running one of his fingers up and down it* Akai Ku... Akai Ku... That's one of those bloody two-word names, like Billy-Bob, right? Tell me your surname!  
  
AKAI: Uhm..ah... Oh yeah! Maxwell!  
  
GREGG: Thank you, you little twit! *goes back to searching*  
  
AKAI: *grumbles and begins kicking a rock around*  
  
GREGG: Maxwell... Maxwell... *finds it* Oh bloody _hell_...  
  
AKAI: *looks up with a bored expression on her face* What?  
  
GREGG: Any relation, by chance, to that cursed _Duo_ Maxwell?  
  
AKAI: *with curiosity* Yes...  
  
GREGG: *swallowing* Close?  
  
AKAI: *getting annoyed; starts tapping shoe* YESSS...  
  
GREGG: By....blood?  
  
AKAI: *sarcasticly* No, he's my husband. Of _course_ by blood!! He's my frikkin' BROTHER!!  
  
GREGG: ...  
  
AKAI: WHAT??!!!   
  
GREGG: Oh _shit_....  
  
AKAI: *gets the scheaming Duo look in her eyes* Whaaaat isss itttt?  
  
GREGG: *sighs and snaps his fingers, causing his scroll to dissapear* Right, let me explain this sweetly and simply, so clearly that even you should be able to understand it, you little twit.  
  
AKAI: *growls*  
  
GREGG: Your....*said with a sneer* brother calls himself the bloody "God Of Death". Well the thing he doesn't know is, it's true. *taps floor tiles with his scythe*  
  
AKAI: O.o I thought it was just a ludicrous battle-cry!  
  
GREGG: *shrugging* Well, it's that too. In any event, it's true, and anyone related to a Maxwell is like those frikkin' cats. *mumbling* I HATE those things... No matter how many times you swing the scythe, they still live to...  
  
AKAI: *cough cough* *ahem!*  
  
GREGG: Oh shit, right....  
  
AKAI: So HOW am I like a cat again?!  
  
GREGG: Ahem: Anyone related to a Maxwell in any way can have as many bloody lives as they think they can get away with.  
  
AKAI: As many...as I think...I can get....away with...?  
  
GREGG: *annoyed* Is there a bloody echo in here?  
  
AKAI: Well actually, it is kinda-  
  
GREGG: Oh just shut the bloody hell up.  
  
AKAI: Meanie...  
  
*a long pause follows. Akai then slowly begins to grin*  
  
AKAI: Soooooooooooo.... Going up?  
  
GREGG: *nursing his head* Oh just _PISS_ _OFF_.... *waves his scythe, causing Akai to vanish*  
  
*~*~*~*~MOUNTAIN SMITHY*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
TAEL: *tapping Akai's body* Akai! Akai! Please wake up! Pleeeeaaseeee....  
  
AKAI: *eyes flutter open*  
  
TAEL: *gasps* Akai! You're alive!  
  
AKAI: *smirks* The Angel of Death has returned from Hell!  
  
TAEL: *grumbling* Good, 'cause you owe me 1600 Rupees.  
  
AKAI: *sweatdrop* C'mon, let's get the hell outa' *gets hit with a mallet labeled "CENSORS"* Itai.... No swearin' in the land of the living...  
  
TAEL: ??  
  
AKAI: *sigh* Never mind....   
  
TAEL: Uhm, were we going to Snowhead?  
  
AKAI: *sigh* Yes... *plays the Song of Soaring; disappears in a flash of wings*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~SNOWHEAD*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
AKAI/TAEL: *appear*  
  
AKAI: For comedy's sake, I am going to PRETEND I do not know of that stupid tempest-breathing  
biggoron...  
  
LINK: *pops in with NAVI* I NEED that sword!! *pleads and grovels*  
  
AKAI: *tries to shake Link off of her leg* I meant the GORON not the sword! Now zark off!!  
  
LINK: "Zark"?   
  
AKAI: We're not in the Underworld any more. Go kill the ghoulies yerself. *LINK and NAVI vanish*  
  
TAEL: Now to move this Goron...  
  
AKAI: YOU CAN'T SEE IT YET!! *whap!*  
  
TAEL: OWWW!!! Sorry...  
  
AKAI: Tael, I have an idea!   
  
TAEL: What?   
  
AKAI: *puts on Iron Boots and shoves TAEL in a bottle*  
  
TAEL: Mphh!!   
  
AKAI: *trudgs dramatically towards the gates of Snowhead Temple, blinded by the snow, her cloak blowing everywhere in the white winds*  
  
WHITE WOLFOS 1 and 2: *pop out of the ground*  
  
WHITE WOLFOS #1: Woo! Woore woo!! (Hey, deli-meat to go!)  
  
WHITE WOLFOS #2: GRAA!! Snort!! WooOOOO!!! (Shut up, you moron: We never eat them anyway!!)  
  
WHITE WOLFOS #1: whiiiiiiiine (We don't?)  
  
WHITE WOLFOS #2: *snap!* GRAA!! Woo waaaroooo *snap* grrr! WOOOOWLOOOOOO!!! (No, moron! We attack people until they get to three hearts, then the beeping starts!!)  
  
WHITE WOLFOS #1: whine (Huh?)  
  
WHITE WOLFOS # 2: whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinee!! Whoo who Woore WOOWLWOOO!!! (Arrrr.... That alone is enough to kill them!)  
  
WHITE WOLFOS #1: Yipyipyipyip- Grrr!! Whoo WOOORE grr *snap*!! (Hahahahaha- Hey! But we STILL don't eat them!)  
  
WHITE WOLFOS #2: grrr *snap!* rrrrrerggg!! (Zark off!) *goes back under ground*  
  
WHITE WOLFOS #1: ... (...) *goes back under ground*  
  
AKAI: *shiver* I think... This is the entrance... *enters*  
  
*~*~*~*~SNOWHEAD TEMPLE~*~*~*~*~*  
  
AKAI: *collapses on the ground* Dang it's c-cold... *uncorks TAEL's bottle*  
  
TAEL: *flies out* Ahh... Nice and toasty....  
  
AKAI: Nani?  
  
TAEL: *content sigh* Well, you were kind enough to put some lovely Blue Fire in there, which always burns warm, never hot, and never scolds the skin.  
  
ANNOYING FEMALE SINGERS: Blue Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiire!  
  
ANNOYING ANNOUNCER: Buy some at your local Hylian Potion Shop today!  
  
TAEL/AKAI: ...  
  
AKAI: Hn, that can't be too recent...  
  
TAEL: Huh? Why not?  
  
AKAI: Because there IS no Blue Fire in Termina! I must've picked it up in Hyrule a few months ago. Either that or that's one those bottles Link gave me and forgot to remove the contents. *sigh* Oh well. *stands on the glowing floor panel and disappears with TAEL*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~GOHT'S DUNGEON~*~*~*~*~*  
  
AKAI: *whispering* There's Goht, frozen in a block of ice...  
  
TAEL: *gulp* Why don't we just leave him like that...?  
  
AKAI: 'cause that'd be nooooo fun!!  
  
TAEL: Heh... I can live without fun...  
  
AKAI: *strings bow*  
  
TAEL: NO AKAI DON'T-!  
  
*TWANG!!!*  
  
*****MASKED RUSTY GOATY-THING*******  
===========GOHT================  
  
GOHT: *charges at Akai and Tael*  
  
TAEL: *dodges*  
  
AKAI: *just stands there and goes flying*  
  
AKAI: WHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *OOMPH!!*  
  
TAEL: AKAI!! *rushes over to her* Are you OK?!  
  
AKAI: Do I LOOK OK? *gag*   
  
TAEL: Why didn't you move?!  
  
AKAI: Because I always moved automatically *Goht comes around the corner again, knocking Akai another twenty feet* IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN *whump!*  
  
TAEL: *was so small he wasn't hit; rushes over to where Akai is*  
  
AKAI: *gasping for air* ...the cinema scene.  
  
TAEL: Akai, you're gonna' die if you don't move it!  
  
AKAI: B-been there d-done that...  
  
TAEL: *jumps in Akai's dimensional closet, hauls out the Feirce Deity's Mask and slaps it on her face*  
  
AKAI: Uhg...Ugh....AIIIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *SSHHHHEEEEEEEEEEN*  
  
GOHT: *comes around the corner again*   
  
TAEL: *cowering inside Omni Akai's cap* Wait for it... Wait for it...!  
  
OMNI AKAI: I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WAIT FOR IT!! HERE HE COMES!!!  
  
GOHT: *is about to connect to-*  
  
************NIGHT OF THE SECOND DAY**************  
============36 HOURS REMAIN==============  
  
GOHT: *stops* WHAT THE-RARRRRAGGGGAG!!!!  
  
OMNI AKAI: *slashes Goht to ribbons*  
  
(Don-don-don. DOOOOOOOOOOONNN Dadadadada!!)  
  
OMNI AKAI: Hey cool. Kick-ass. *axe labeled "CENSORS" comes flying toward her, but she neatly slices it in half* NO ONE messes with Omni-Akai *grins, then takes off mask and steps into crystal with TAEL*  
  
*********MOUNTAIN VILLAGE********  
  
AKAI/TAEL: *appear*  
  
AKAI: Oooh, it's spri- OWWWWW!!!  
  
BEE #21: *snickers*   
  
AKAI: Spring!! The chirping OUCH frogs!  
  
TAEL: Spr-OWIE-ing! Rains 'till you're water OWWWW!! Logged!!  
  
AKAI: Let's just get outta' heeeeeeeeeeeeeeereeeeeee!! *runs off with TAEL*  
  
***2***  
  
********PATH TO GORON VILLAGE*********  
  
AKAI: I am _so_ glad I have no allergies.... *takes out her Gerudo Membership Card and starts scraping her skin*  
  
TAEL: What _are_ you doing?!  
  
AKAI: *matter-of-factly* How else am I to get them out?  
  
TAEL: Just use a pair...*slumps for a sec* A pair of tweezers!  
  
AKAI: Baka! If you use tweezers, all of the poison inside the stinger will come surging into your veins! *scrapes out another sting* Do you know in my entire life, I've ever been stung by anything other than a mosquito? And even they don't like me!  
  
TAEL: Uhnn...Tweezers are bad...eh? *hits the ground with a sickening thud*  
  
AKAI: ...Tael, my question is not "Why?", as in "Why do you use tweezers when the health channels and parents are always screaming at you?" My question is "How?" in fact, as in, "HOW DOES A FAIRY USE TWEEZERS????????!!"  
  
*breaks a snowball (once a snowboulder) and grabs the Green Potion from it. Mixes it with her Red Potion, and as you all know Green and Red make Blue, that's what she gets: A Blue Potion*  
  
This should heal you in awhile. *shoves Tael in the bottle and skips along*  
  
WOLFOS #1: *pops out of the ground* And where are you going little girl, all alone in the middle of the night in a place like this?  
  
AKAI: *shrugs* I dunno where I'm going; I never prewrite!  
  
WOLFOS #1: ...  
  
AKAI: Well I DON'T! Not for this fic, anyway.  
  
WOLFOS #1: ............you mean you're NOT going to Grandma's house?  
  
AKAI: ....  
  
WOLFOS #1: ...  
  
AKAI: This is stupid.  
  
WOLFOS #1: I agree.  
  
AKAI: Tell you what: Why don't YOU tell ME where to go?  
  
WOLFOS #1: Sure, I guess. You see that cave up there? *points with a paw*  
  
AKAI: *flatly* No.  
  
WOLFOS #1: Hm? Just a sec.... Stupid contacts... *pops red contacts out of his eyes, revealing that they are in fact sky-blue* Ah! There's a big huge boulder in front of that cave! Behing it is a Goron Racetrack. You'll have to blow up the boulder, though.  
  
AKAI: Uhhhhhh.... I dunnoo....  
  
(thinks of the last time she went to a Goron Race [1])  
  
  
I'll pass.   
  
WOLFOS #1: OK. *pops contacts back in*  
  
AKAI: Thanks though! *tosses a biscuit to the wolfos* Hmm...where should I go...? I know! *takes out Fairy Ocarina and plays the Song Of Soaring; dissapears in a flash of wings*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~MILK ROAD*~*~*~*~*~*  
AKAI: *appears* Well, I'm sick of the Mountain. I'd better check the ranch-  
  
**********DAWN OF THE FINAL DAY************  
-------------------24 HOURS REMAIN--------------------  
  
AKAI: Eesh... Well, I'd better check around the ranch today. Still, I wonder what Mikau's been up to...? *stares at plushie*  
  
=======================================================  
  
***2***: Once again, another secret to be devulged in the epilouge.  
  
[1] I'm writing a SHORT fanfic explaining why Akai doesn't go to Goron Races.  
  
Ack, this one is the first chapter that's SHORTER than the one before it!! AHHH!!! I'm really sorry it took so long, so I hope y'all like it. I'd like to thank my readers for being so patient with me:) Next Time: Mikau and Ruto at the Great Bay Temple.   
  
Move out!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	9. Part Two, Chapter 8: Mirror Mirror On Th...

DISCLAIMER:   
Yippee!! Another stolen disclaimer:  
  
I own nothing. Except for you. Dance, my little slave, dance. (Made up by Cherry Blossom)  
  
  
  
The Search For The Ocarina Of Time  
Part Two, Chapter Eight: Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall: Who's The Fairest Zora Of Them All?  
  
  
======DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY=====  
**********48 Hours Remain*************  
  
*~*~*~*~GREAT BAY COAST~*~*~*~*  
  
Mikau: *sighs* So, like, now where do we go?  
  
Ruto: To Great Bay Temple, bimbo!  
  
Mikau: Like, do you even know how to get there?!  
  
Ruto: ...  
  
Mikau: *smirks* _I_ know how to get there. *jumps into the water and begins swimming at bullet-speed*  
  
Ruto: H-hey! Wait up!! It's been ages since I've been able to swim like that!  
  
XIIIRedXIII: *appears* *snickers* More like 36 hours....  
  
Ruto: Can it!  
  
Red: *shaking head in mock sorrow* Tsk, tsk. One of my own creations telling me to   
'can it'...  
  
Ruto: *ringing angrily* I am NOT one of YOUR creations! I, The Zoran Princess Ruto IV, was created by Shigeru Miyamoto and am owned by Nintendo!!  
  
Red: In this ficcy you are, because I put you in the story, turned you into a fairy, made you Mikau's partner, and am controlling every move you make.  
  
Ruto: What the heck do you mean?! YOU CAN'T CANRO- *eyes glaze over*  
  
Red: *smirk*  
  
Ruto: *bobbing around and singing* Happy feet!! I've got those happy feet!! You play that happy beat!! And I can't stop daaaaaaaaaaaaancing!!  
  
Red: *chuckles*   
  
Ruto: *still bobbing/dancing* Ba-da-da-ba-dum la-la-lala! Ba-da-da-ba-dum la-la-lala...  
  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
*~*~*~GREAT BAY TEMPLE~*~*~*  
  
Mikau: *pops out of water* The great thing about being a Zora is that you can access the local temple without paying turtle-fare, eh Ruto?  
  
...  
  
Mikau: Ruto?  
  
*suddenly, a vortex opens up in a corner, sucking in and spewing out various objects*  
  
Mikau: *grabs onto a barrel so he doesn't get sucked into oblivion* AHHHHHH!!! A PLOTHOLE!!! *gets bonked on the head with the **** Dragon Ball*  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Impa's College Dictionary would like to supply you, the reader, with a dictionary definition of "plothole".  
  
plothole (plot-hole) n. 1: A detail, event, or character in a literary work that is inconsistent or even interferes with the current plotline. (circa 1970s) 2: The physical manifestation of such a glitch, sucking in and/or spewing out various characters and materials that are inconsistent or interfering into a literary work. (circa 1997) SEE ALSO: VERTEX  
  
Thank you.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Piccolo: (walks coolly and dramatically out of the plothole, cape flowing behind him, then walks up to Mikau) Here. (thrusts a small box into Mikau's hand, snatches the Dragon Ball, and walks back into the plothole, which closes up behind him)  
  
Mikau: ... *opens up the box to reveal a very dazed Ruto* !!!   
  
Ruto: *blinks a few times* Stupid authors think they own the universe....  
  
Mikau: *opens mouth*  
  
Ruto: DON'T say it!  
  
Mikau: Sorry...   
  
Ruto: My turn to ask: Now what?  
  
Mikau: Let's fight the bossy-thing or whatever...  
  
Ruto: Okaaaaay...  
  
Mikau/Ruto: *jump into portal*  
  
*~*~*~GYORG'S PIT~*~*~*~*  
Mikau/Ruto: *fall* AAAAAAAAAAAA!!  
  
*THUD!*  
  
Ruto: *rubbing "head" with her wing* How can Link do that so nonchalantly?!  
  
Mikau: More importantly, like, how can a fairy fall?  
  
Ruto: ...  
  
*creepy dripping noise echoes in empty room*  
  
Mikau/Ruto: CLLLLLLLLIIIICCCCCCCHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!  
  
*dripping stops*  
  
*quake starts*  
  
Ruto: MORONS TWO: RETURN OF THE CLICHE!!!  
  
Mikau: *sweatdrops* Uhm, I think you SHOULD be worried this time, Ruto...  
  
Ruto: Wh-  
  
======GARGANTUAN SUSHI TO-GO OF EVIL=======  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~GYORG~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
GYORG: *comes slamming down onto the platform, squashing Ruto*  
  
Mikau: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *goes flying*  
  
Red: *appears with popcorn* Yay! Blood and guts!!  
  
GYORG: *sweatdrop* *summons up all of his power to flop back into the water so as to escape from Red*  
  
Red: *sniffle* No one likes me...  
  
Mikau: *head pops up* That was- *sees Gyorg coming* WHOA! *jumps onto the platform* Ruto, help! *sees Ruto* RUTO?!  
  
Red: *smirk* I LOVE being evil...  
  
*ruto's tiny fairy body lies squished and bloodied on the platform, no longer shining. It's the body of a human with wings, like a 3-D silouette*  
  
Mikau: Red, that's gross.  
  
Red: *shrugs as she gorges popcorn* I guess that's what you get from seeing "The Mummy Returns" on a sugar-high.  
  
Mikau: Was it good?  
  
Red: Excellent. Mikau, couldja' get on with your scene?  
  
Mikau: Oh, ah, yeah. *sweatdrop* *picks up a script written in scribbles and crayon* Ruto... *stands up, holding the body in his hands* You may have been an annoying pain in the scales, but you were my friend! I WILL AVENGE YOU!!  
  
Red: Uhm, Mikau...  
  
Mikau: *still reading*QUIET!! I'm TRYING to be dramatic!!  
  
Red: But, Mika-  
  
Mikau: SHUT U- *is knocked over by Gyorg, and goes flying into the water*  
  
Gyorg: *grabs Mikau in his jaws and shakes*  
  
Red: *sighs*  
  
Mikau: AAAARRRRG!! *manages to free himself from Gyorg's jaws, but is so horribly wounded that he sinks to the bottom of the pool with blood trailing*  
  
Red: And I am NOT revealing what color Zoran blood is :P  
  
Readers: *chuck Cukoo eggs at Red*  
  
Gyorg: *closes in on the defenseless guitarist*  
  
Mikau: *muffled by water* HIYAA!! *slashes at Gyorg*  
  
Red: An "unexpected" come-back...  
  
Mikau: Would you just SHUT UP!!?  
  
Red: Ask me again in fifteen minutes.  
  
Mikau: Grrr...   
  
Gyorg: *howls/bleeds**blinks* *grins evily*  
  
Mikau: Uh-oh....  
  
Red: Yousa' in big doo-doo dis time!  
  
Gyorg: *releases dozens of fish to attack Mikau*  
  
Gyorg: *laughs creepily underwater somehow as the fish close in*  
  
Mikau: *weakly* I love my life! I will die, and I will no longer have to face Red or Akai OR JAR-JAR BINKS!!  
  
Red: *muches*  
  
???: (from above water) EAT SHARDS, UGLY BUGGGER!!!  
  
Gyorg: When'd we get to Englan-  
  
*thousands of ice shards smash into Gyorg and his minions, ripping them to little pieces. A lighting flash blur jumps into the water and drags out Mikau*  
  
Gyorg: I want my laaaaaaawyyerrr.... *dies*  
  
Mikau: Damn... *flaming arrow labeled "CENSORS" comes flying at Mikau, but is extinguished by the water and bobs to the surface harmlessly*  
  
Bum-Bum-Bum! Da-dddduuuuuum!! Dadadadadum!!  
  
Mikau: Darn, I thought it might've killed me... *passes out*   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
**********NIGHT OF THE SECOND DAY*******  
~~~~~~~~~~36 Hours Remain~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Female Zora: Heyloooo? Mister guitar!?  
  
Aqua Fairy: *floats up* Uuuuuu....*blinks*Hey, you're Ruto!  
  
Ruto: *sarcastically* No, it's Jabu-Jabu.  
  
Aqua Fairy: Oh. Ok then. *floats to the ground*  
  
Ruto: *rolls all four eyes* Iddjut!! Of COURSE it's me!!  
  
Aqua Fairy: Oo; You look just like LuLu.  
  
Ruto: Your saying your girlfriend looks like Jabu-Jabu?  
  
Aqua Fairy: !!!! NOO!! SHE'D FILLET ME!! Speaking of which, you jumped into bloody water to save ME?  
  
Ruto: ?? There was no blood. The censors made us take it away.  
  
Aqua Fairy: Oh.... Freaks. *gets whapped with a "giant" frying pan*  
  
Aqua Fairy: Eesh, like, FOUL PLAY!! Just 'cause they don't like me calling them freaks doesn't mean they hafta' through some frying pan at me!! And how did it get so huge?!  
  
Ruto: *sweatdrop* Mikaaaauu.... It ISN'T huge....  
  
*creepy music plays*  
  
Aqua Fairy: Huh?  
  
Ruto: *polishes frying pan so Mikau can see his reflection -guess*  
  
Mikau (Aqua Fairy): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
Ruto: *sighs*  
  
Mikau: WHY?! WHY?! WHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY?!  
  
Ruto: *shoves Mikau into a bottle* Listen!!  
  
Mikau: *bangs about inside angrily* NOOOOOO!!1  
  
Ruto: You were so terribly wounded it was the only way to save you!!   
  
Mikau: *still banging* I DON'T CAAAAAAREEE!!  
  
Ruto: *sweatdrop* Uhm, it was her idea? *points over to Red, who is asleep with an up-side-down popcorn bucket on her head*  
  
  
Mikau: ...whatever.  
  
Ruto: It WAAAAS...!!  
  
Red (sleeptalking): Imhotep....Imhotep....RASHEEM OOLOO KASHKA!! *rolls over and splashes into water*  
  
Mikau/Ruto: *sweatdrop*  
  
Ruto: *lets Mikau out* Listen, it isn't permanent.   
  
Mikau: Like, thank saphires! How long will it be?  
  
Ruto: Eh, about... Noon tomorrow...  
  
Mikau: Oo;;;;;  
  
Ruto: You'll, ah, get used to it?  
  
Mikau: Mommy...  
  
Red: *pops out of water* MUMMY?! WHERE?! FAKOOSHKA THE MU- *a train labeled "CENSORS" hits Red*   
  
Red: *is totally unharmed* Heh, you can't hurt ME! I'm the AUTHOR!! And besides, that was ancient Kemet, not what YOU thought. *poofs away*  
  
Ruto: ...  
  
Mikau: ...  
  
Ruto: ...let's get moving.  
  
Ruto/Mikau: *step on the warpy-thing*  
  
*~*~*~*~GREAT BAY COAST~*~*~*~*  
  
Ruto: *breathes* Ah, Great Bay Coast is beautiful at night, ain't it, Mikau?  
  
Mikau: *whining* I want my body back...  
  
Ruto: You can't yet. They're still working on it.  
  
Mikau: ? Where?  
  
Ruto: Uhm... The body shop?  
  
*cymbal crash*  
  
Mikau: That was...  
  
********DAWN OF THE FINAL DAY*********  
~~~~~~~~~~~24 HOURS REMAIN~~~~~~  
  
Ruto: Wha?  
  
Mikau: Lame.  
  
Ruto: ;P  
  
Mikau: Where's Link?! At least he's not a FAIRY!!  
  
=============================  
  
Blar, I wrote it once, thought it sucked, and re-did it. I was grounded for a week and couldn't write. Gomen!  



	10. Part Two, Chapter 9: Industrial Strengt...

Disclaimer: If I own Zelda, I'm sane.  
  
The Search For The Ocarina Of Time  
Part Two, Chapter Nine: Industrial Strength Faries (or 'Akai Lives, No Da!!')  
  
  
******DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY******  
~~~~~~~~~48 HOURS REMAIN~~~~~~~~~  
  
*~*~*~*~SPRINGWATER CAVE~*~*~*  
  
Navi: C'mon, Mr. Tights!  
  
Link: *whining* But it's safe in heeere...  
  
Navi: *pulls out her silent ReDead whistle*  
  
Link: @,@ OKOKOK!!! LEZZGOO!!! *runs outside*  
  
Navi: *snicker* *follows him*  
  
  
*~*~*~IKANA CANYON~*~*~*~*  
  
MUSIC: *assults the ears horribly*  
  
Link: Oh. My. Goddesses...  
  
Navi: Let's get outta' heeeeeeeeeeeeereee!!!   
  
Link: WHEEEEEERE?!!  
  
Navi: Just RUN FOR IT!!  
  
Link: *just runs madly while screaming ....right into the well*  
  
Link: *falling* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-*thud!*  
  
Navi: Oo; Erm... Link? *flies down the well*  
  
*~*~*~Inside The Well~*~*~*~*  
  
Link: *cough cough wheeze* OMG... It smells so...  
  
???: Dirgey?  
  
Link: Well, actually- *sees what spoke* AAAARRRRRGGG!!!  
  
Gibdo #10: *is no longer sentient * GRAAAAAORRRR!!  
  
Link: *is frozen* OO;  
  
Navi: *comes flying down the well* *sighs* Link, WHY do you always get in trouble inside enclosed spaces?? *somehow grabs Link by his collar and pulls him back toward the entrance to the well*   
  
Link: *as stiff as a board* *comes to* *sobs*  
  
Navi: Sheesh, some Hero Of Time. HOW, praytell, did YOU manage to defeat Ganon  
  
Link: *wiping his eyes* B-because... He w-wasn't a z-zombie... J-just a-a-a big, STUPID, fat, ugly, addlebrained, swine-faced, stinky-butt, PIG!!  
  
Navi: ...   
  
Link: *sniffle* I'm scared!  
  
Navi: Wuss...  
  
Link: *leaps up* I JUST NEED AN ITEM, OK?! And I KNOW where to get one! *gets out Ocarina Of Time Copy and plays Song Of Soaring; disappears in a flash of wings*  
  
*~*~*~*~SNOWHEAD~*~*~*~*  
  
Link/Navi: *appear*  
  
Akai: *is standing looking at the temple with Tael* ...edy's sake, I am going to PRETEND I do not know of that stupid tempest-breathing biggoron...  
  
Link: I NEED that sword!! *pleads and grovels*  
  
Akai: *tries to shake Link off her leg* I meant the GORON, not the sword! Now zark off!!  
  
Link: *confused* "Zark"?  
  
Akai: We're not in the Underworld any more. Go kill the ghoulies yerself. *Link and Navi vanish*  
  
*~*~*~INSIDE THE WELL~*~*~*  
  
Navi/Link: *appear*  
  
Navi: Well THAT worked!!  
  
Link: *sneezes and owl feather comes out of his nose* Oh gimmee a break...  
  
Navi: *takes out bone-crusher* My pleasure...  
  
Link: Eep!! Calm down!! *performs a magic slashy thingy and kills the advancing Gibdo #10* Whew!  
  
Navi: *blinks* Wow. That was the first thing you did RIGHT in this fic...  
  
Link: No brains, but lotsa' skill. *grins broadly*  
  
Navi: *sigh* Never mind. Look, if you weren't such an idiot, you'd realize that you had a mask that makes these dudes think you're another Gibdo!!  
  
Link: I...do? What's it called?  
  
Navi: -_-; The GIBDO's Mask!!  
  
Link: Oh... *crawls through his dimensional closet and pulls out THE GIBDO'S MASK!!* *slaps it on* Uuhhm... *bumps into a wall...master.*  
  
Wallmaster: Groaaaaaaan... *picks up Link and carries him away*  
  
*~*~*~INSIDE THE WELL~*~*~*  
  
Wallmaster: *deposits Link and Navi at the entrance*  
  
Link: AAAAAAAAAA!! -*thud!*  
  
Navi: Ooga... That must've hurt, Link.  
  
Link: Ugh... *rubs head*  
  
Navi: Too bad you don't have wiiiiiiiings :P!!  
  
Link: Arg, shut UP!!  
  
Gibdo #10: Briiiiiiiiiing them!!  
  
Link:!!  
  
Navi: Aw, I forgot; Leave the room and they come back to life.  
  
Link: W-why?  
  
Navi: Because Red's on crack *gets hit with a spork labeled "CENSORS"*  
  
Red: *from Author-Land* No referring to illegal substances!!  
  
Navi: GRAAAA!! YOU DID THAT YOURSELF!!!  
  
Red: ...maybe. *vanishes*  
  
Gibo #10: *ahem!* May I interrupt?  
  
Link: O,O  
  
Navi: Oh... Eh heh... Sorry... Carry on.  
  
Gibdo #10: Right. *clears throat* Briiiiiiiiiiing them, briiiiiiiiiiiing them!!  
  
Link: oO; We're gonna' DIEEE!!  
  
Gibdo #10: ??? Aren't you already dead?  
  
Link: Huh? *realizes he has a mask on* Oh, this? It's just-  
  
Navi: *wham!!* *bonks into Link's head* -he's been recently mummified. Heh heh... He got sick of being a rotting corpse, RIGHT?!  
  
Link: *doesn't know who to be more afraid of: The zombie or the fairy* Uh, uh... Yeah! Erm, heh heh... What would you like me to, erm, brriiiiiiiiiiiiiiing?  
  
Gibdo #10: -_-; You know, you do a pretty sad zombie impression. The only reason I'm not sucking your brains out right now is that I'm getting paid.  
  
Link: Oo;; Oh, heh heh... Er, thank you. *gulp!* I think...  
  
Gibdo #10: *sighs* I can't believe I lost the part of Imhotep to some bald-headed South African nobody... *continues* Bring me... H2O!!  
  
Link: Erg...  
  
Navi: *to Gibdo #10* 'scuse me. *to Link* WHAT?!  
  
Link: I ate my alphabet soup already...  
  
Navi/Gibdo: *facefault*  
  
Navi: Uhm, Mr. Gibdo sir, we're, erm, gonna' take the long way. Sorry to bother you.  
  
Gibdo #10: *shrugs* No problem.   
  
Navi: *somehow drags Link out of the well*  
  
*~*~*~IKANA CANYON~*~*~*  
  
Navi: Link! We HAVE to get into Ikana Castle!!  
  
Link: *flatly* No we don't. I don't wanna' go.  
  
Navi: C'mon, you've GOTTA remember what the guy in the cave said...?!  
  
Link: *innocently* Guy? Cave? What cave? What guy?  
  
Ghost Of Sharp: *appears* Me.  
  
Link: A-a-a-a-aaaaAaaAaaAaAaAaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!   
  
Navi: *smirks*  
  
Link:*quickly* Makimgoawaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!!  
  
Sharp: *sniffle* Fine, I can tell when I'm not wanted. *poofs away back into The Land Of Purple*  
  
Navi: *snicker* Memory returned, ol' chap?  
  
Link: *shaking* Y-yes...  
  
Navi: Then let's head to the castle. *they walk over, Link somewhat reluctantly, to Ikana Castle*  
  
Link: Hmm, waz this say? *reading sign aloud* "Ikana Castle, Front Gate. Use what you will, these sealed doors shall never open." *gives a fake 'sigh of defeat'* Welp, it's a pity. We can't git in. We'll just have to go back to Clock Town and tell Tsura that we just couldn't-  
  
Navi: Oh, haha. Nice. TRY.* grabs Link by his collar and somehow drags him in through a crack in the castle wall. Inside there is an enclosed space with a Crystal Switch and a Sun Block* Link, I need you to hit thay Crystal Switch with your sword, 'K?  
  
Link: No way! You know how many dead people are crawling around in there?! It's virtually Hotel de Osmet!! *Badum-BUMP!*  
  
*crickets chirp*  
  
Navi: *mumbling* There was a farmer had a joke and it was really LAME-O  
  
Link: *under breath* Shaddup...  
  
Navi: C'mon Link, whack the dang crystal!  
  
Link: No.  
  
Navi: Please?  
  
Link: Nuh-uh.  
  
Navi: C'mon!  
  
Link: No way!  
  
Navi: I'm waaarning you...  
  
Link: *scoffs*  
  
Navi: *picks Link up somehow by the boots and swings him against the crystal switch*  
  
*BOOOOOOOOOONG!!!*   
  
Link: *skull still vibrating* BaAaAARrRrRaAa A...!  
  
Navi: *calmly* You were warned.  
  
Link: GrhenmaMaa.a..a..aaa...*blinks* YOWZA!! The Liiiiiiiiiiiiiight!!  
  
Navi: *sighs* Reflect it offa' the sheild onto that Sun Block!  
  
Link: *shrugs* OK. *shines the light onto a bottle marked SP25*  
  
Navi: *groans*  
  
Link: Wha-?   
  
Navi: Not sunblock! A SUN_BLOCK!!  
  
Link: Oh. Why di-  
  
****NIGHT OF THE SECOND DAY*****  
~~~~~~~~~36 HOURS REMAIN~~~~~~  
  
Navi: Y'know, I've almost gotten used to that.  
  
Link: Almost.  
  
Navi: Exactly. *!!!* Hey, who turned out the sun?!   
  
Link: Uh...  
  
Navi: CRUD! We won't be able to.. EH?!!  
  
*a little Chinese straw hat comes out of Link's Pocket Dimensional Closet (buy yours from Tamahome Enterprises today! Our motto: We're Always Happy To Serve (But Only if ya' Got da Moolah)!) . A weird little cat-face Chinese guy steps out*  
  
Link/Navi: !!!  
  
Cat Guy: You guys are pretty dum. No da!  
  
Navi: Three questions: A, who are you, B, why are you here, and C, who the HECK are you calling dumb?!  
  
Cat Guy: Hey, no need to be so rude, no da! I'm Chichiri, and Akai sent me because YOU are dumb, na no da!!  
  
Link: No..da?  
  
Chichiri: *nod* 's an emphatic. No da.  
  
Link: N. Barrack?  
  
Chichiri: *sigh* Never mind. Listen, no da, Akai said you should try THIS! *uses Light Arrow to melt Sun Block.   
  
Link/Navi: *jaws drop again*  
  
Link: Wow...  
  
Navi: Ch-ch-chichiri?  
  
Chichiri: *grinning as always* No da?  
  
Navi: ThankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouTHANKYOU!!!  
  
Chichiri: *small sweatbead* Gosh, no da, 's no problem! Well, I must be going! No da! *dives back into hat*  
  
Navi: *stares as the hat falls to the ground* Strange guy...  
  
Link: *while picking up hat and carefully placing it back into his pocket/dimesional closet* Useful, though.  
  
Navi: Unlike SOME people...  
  
Link: *harumphs as he and Navi enter Ikana Castle*  
  
*~*~*~ANCIENT CASTLE OF IKANA~*~*~*  
  
Link: Well, here we are saying here we are...  
  
Navi: And while we're 'har', let's go in the front 'dar'! *they do so*  
  
*~*~*~INSIDE IKANA CASTLE*~*~*~*  
  
Link: *opens mouth to say something to the effect of "AAAAAAAAAAAA-  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-  
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG-  
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-  
HHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!", but is jumped by ReDeads from all sides*  
  
****it is important to note that at this point two things happen at the same instant  
  
1. Navi: *slaps the Captain's Hat on Link's face*  
  
2. Link: *actually reacting to danger semi-intelligently for once, uses Din's Fire*  
  
****the result is a bunch of flaming ReDeads performing ballet [1]  
  
Link/Navi: *just kinda' stare*  
  
  
Hat: *rattle rattle ratnotle ratdatle rattle rattle*  
  
Link: Er...*takes out a Light Arrow and fits its shaft to his bow* Off to Ikana Throne Room or whatever? *fires and melts the Sun Block*  
  
Navi/Link: *enter the chamber*  
  
*~*~*~IKANA THRONE ROOM (or whatever)~*~*~*  
  
Link: *walks in with Navi*  
  
*room begins to shake*   
  
???: Oh insolent one who has brought the unthinkable into a land as dark as Ikana...  
  
Link: Hm?  
  
*shutters begin to shut over windows, blocking out the light*  
  
???: My servants have fallen namelessly before the light that guides you.  
  
Link: *sweatdrop* Oh crud...  
  
Navi: Phsychotic villain bent on vengance alert...*rolls hypothetical "eyes"*  
  
???: *sounds slightly hurt as he continues* However...  
  
*windows snap shut*  
  
Igos Du Ikana (???): *sitting on throne* The darkness in which my servants live is, after all, fleeting. *Fat Skull steps up from behind Ikana's left*  
  
Link: *smacking hand into the 'forehead' of his mask* Oh DOUBLE-crud....  
  
Igos Du Ikana: You shall soon see with your own eyes.... *Thin Skull appears at Ikana's right*  
  
Link: *slumps to ground* TRIPLE-CRUD!!!  
  
Igos Du Ikana: ...just what kind of thing true darkness really is!!  
  
Navi: Link, move!!  
  
Link: *dodges just as Fat Skull and Thin Skull land where he was a second before, scimitars drawn; Landing right in front of Igos Du Ikana*  
  
Link: *ulp!*  
  
Ikana: *scrutinizes Link's masked face* *suddenly* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, KEETA?!!!   
  
Link: Ah heh heh...   
  
*3*  
  
Ikana: Keeta, you dog, you never payed me back!!  
  
Fat Skull: Heeeeeeeeeeeereee he goes again...  
  
Thin Skull: *sigh* Wanna' go out fer a beer?  
  
Fat Skull: *shrugs* Sure. *they walk off*  
  
Navi: ????  
  
Link: Erm... Pay you back for what?  
  
Igos: That game!! You lost!! I won!! REMEMBER?!! I've been waiting eight-hundred years for those two-hundred rupees!!  
  
Link: *fishes through wallet*  
  
Igos: Which, with inflation, makes it twenty-thousand rupees by today's standards!!  
  
Link: *face turns ashen under mask*  
  
Igos: Grr... I KNEW I should never have chanced a game of craps with yo- *giant mound of poo labeled "CENSORS" falls on Ikana (how does one label poo?)*  
  
Link: Oh come ON!!  
  
Navi: That was pretty low...  
  
Red: *from Author-Land* Ex-CUSE me?! I didn't just hear you COMPLAINING, DID I ?!!  
  
???: Sure did, no da!!*the little Chinese hat hops away*  
  
Red: Ooo... *barbells, sporks, and spatulas labeled "CENSORS" fall on Link and Navi* *snicker* *vanishes*  
  
**********DAWN OF THE FINAL DAY*********  
~~~~~~~~~~~24 HOURS REMAIN~~~~~~~~~  
Link: Why that little...!!!  
  
Navi: *sigh* To.... STONE TOWER!!  
  
Link: WHAAAAA!!  
  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
*3* Another teaser to be divulged in the epilouge!!  
  
  
Whoo!! Sure has been awhile! If you were wondering, I haven't been able to write because (a) my Majora's Mask gamepack had been lost for awhile, causing me to lose my insparation and (b) I, along with the rest of my mom's and new stepdad's (though my REAL dad is STILL fifteen billion percent cooler! *hifives her dad*) family, was running around like a chicken with its head cut off (cliche!!) preparing for my mum's wedding. But I LIVE!! I have another major fanfic now, "The Mummy Returns Again -Persistant B*st*rd," which, for some odd reason, I am immensley proud of. So check it out!! ...if you DARE!! MWEEHEEHEEHEEE!!  
  
Heh, still the same ol' Akai. Welp, next time it's gonna' be Tsura and the Gundam guys in Clock Town! See you then, na no da!!  
  
  
~Akai Ku  
Official Little Sister Of Duo Maxwell:  
"Shinnotenshi ga jigoku kari mai modotte kita ze!!"  
  
  



	11. Part Two, Chapter 10: If You Bop People ...

Disclaimer: I no own. Don't sue me! No da!!  
  
Once again, I took WAAAAAAAAAAY too long ^^;; I'm working on three fanfics (this included) that people want DONE, NOW. Or at least updated ^^; They're SFTOOT, Tsuki No Hitokoro (a continuation of my other serious FY fic, Hatashenai), and a weird Fushigi Akugi that's located at a message board and not here na no da. Bua. But I AM going to finish this fanfiction no matter WHAT, because you guys like it! MWEEHEEHEHEHEEE!  
  
  
The Search For The Ocarina of Time  
Part Two, Chapter Ten: If You Bop People On The Head In JUST The Right Spot... O_o  
  
  
******DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY*******  
~~~~~~~~~48 HOURS REMAIN~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*~*~*~STOCK POT INN~*~*~*~*  
  
Tsura: YOOOOW!!!  
  
Quatre: OWWCH!!  
  
Tsura: OOO! OWC ACK!! A- *eyes glaze over* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-  
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone Else Staying In Stock Pot Inn (in unison): *open doors* QUIET!! *slam doors*  
  
Quatre/Darunia: Oo;;  
  
Quatre: Miss Tsura....? Are you all right?  
  
Tsura: *winces and holds up her foot. There's a peice of a shattered teacup imbedded in it*  
  
Quatre: Oooo...  
  
Darunia: OUCH.  
  
Tsura: *gritting teeth* Well don't just sit there looking sorry for me!! Get it ooout!!!  
  
Quatre: *gingerly pulls out china bit, flinching as he sees its covered with blood*  
  
Red: *from Author-Land* I'm STTTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL not revealing what color Zoran blood it! :p  
  
Readers: *chuck stuff at Red*  
  
Red: Ack! *dives back into the depths of Author-Land*  
  
Tsura: *grabs some cloth out of her pocket and wraps it around her foot* Ooch...  
  
Quatre: I'm so sorry, Ms. Tsura.  
  
Tsura: *grins* 's just Tsura, Qat, and no problem. Now... *stands up, putting most of her weight on her un-stabbed foot* ...let's go find that Ocarina! *she and Darunia zoom/limp out of the Stock Pot Inn, leaving poor Quatre to clean up his beautiful tea set ;_;*  
  
*~*~*~EAST CLOCK TOWN~*~*~*~*  
  
Tsura: Where to look ne- Oh, it's Heero... And....  
  
Darunia: His name's Akai-goro.  
  
Tsura: ?? Akai-goro?  
  
Darunia: Sometimes, sista', it's best just not to ask.  
  
Akai-goro: The wind is getting damp-goro, tomorrow it is rain-goro. Goro-goro.   
  
Heero: *holds out his hand and catches a raindrop* Hn.  
  
Darunia: *whispering* Perseptive little twerp...  
  
Tsura: Shh!  
  
Heero: What are you doing sleeping outside?  
  
Akai-goro: Someone took my room, goro. I had to sleep outside goro. Goro-gor-*BANG*  
  
Darunia/Tsura: O_O  
  
Heero: Hn. *puts gun away* Goro's are annoying. Hah! *jumps about twenty feet into the air, landing on roof of the inn*  
  
  
Tsura: OH MY GODDESSES!!!! IS HE OKAY!?!!  
  
Pink Fairy: *restores Akai-Goro*  
  
Akai-Goro: *groans* I always carry them goro. People don't like sales-Gorons goro. Goro goro. *walks away*  
  
Tsura/Darunia: ...  
  
*KA-BOOM!! KA-BOOM!! KA-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM!!*  
  
Tsura: !! DUO!!! *runs away*  
  
Darunia: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT!! *to himself* And I thought she was hurt...  
  
*~*~*~*~South Clock Town~*~*~*~*  
  
Tsura: oO Holy shamoley!!  
  
*there are several charred patches of wall where bombs have exploded. Duo Maxwell is currently staring transfixed at a Powder Keg with four or five Real Bombachu's strapped to it*  
  
Daurnia: RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!  
  
*KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!*  
  
Tsura: *coughcoughcough* Darunia? DARUNIA?!!!  
  
Darunia: *lying on the ground* *cough* Rosebud...  
  
Tsura: *WHAP!*  
  
Darunia: OW!!  
  
Tsura: *to Duo* What the heck are you doing, Duo!?!!  
  
Duo: Ain't that obvious? I'm blowin' stuff *click* UP!  
  
Carpenter: O.O  
  
*ticktickticktickticktickticktickticktciktcik*  
  
Darunia: Click up? What th-  
  
Tsura: GEDDOWN!!!  
  
*ticktickBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!*  
  
Duo: WHOOOHOO!!! Jeez! I thought this place kinda' sucked wh-*is hit by a toilet plunger labeled "CENSORS"* What the f-  
  
Tsura/Darunia: NO!  
  
Duo: ...oh yeah. Evil censors...GHAAAA!!! *shurikens come flying at him*  
  
Shuriken #1: C  
  
Shuriken #2: E  
  
Shuriken #4: N  
  
Shuriken #5: S  
  
Shuriken #6: O  
  
Shuriken #7: R  
  
Shuriken #9: S  
  
Darunia: Well, points for originality...  
  
Duo: *dancing around* Ooh! Ah!! Oo!! Eee! Ooh!! Ah ah!! Yow!!  
  
Red: *appears* Ting tang walla walla bing-bang, etc. I don't get these freaky censors; They don't like "suck". And they ALSO don't like bein' dissed...  
  
Tsura: Waitasec... How come they aren't hurting YOU?  
  
Red: ...*vanishes*  
  
Darunia: Do I even want to know...?  
  
Tsura: NO.  
  
Duo: HEY!! OI!! YOU TWO!!! HELP!!! GHAAAA!!! *shurikens still flying*  
  
Tsura: *blinks as one whizzes past her face* Uhm...   
  
Darunia: SAYOUNARA!! *somehow grabs Tsura and pulls her into the nearest building*  
  
  
~*~*~SHOOTING GALLERY~*~*~*  
  
Tsura/Darunia: *race in, panting, and slam the door behind them*  
  
*THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK!*  
  
Tsura: O.O *staring at the shurikens in the door* Aaa....  
  
Darunia: I'm beginnin' t'worry Red's gonna' kill us off, sista...  
  
Tsura: Can she DO that??  
  
Trowa: *flatly* She's certainly evil enough.  
  
Tsura: ! Trowa!! What are you doing here?!   
Trowa: ... *throws another knife at an Octorock*   
  
Octorock: *holds up a sign that says "Animal Abuse For Human Entertainment" before dying*  
  
Tsura: ...  
  
Darunia: ...  
  
Trowa: ...  
  
Big Scary Guy At The Counter: *ahem* May I help you?  
  
Tsura: Uhm... Have you seen a blue ocarina?  
  
BSGATC: Do I look like the kinda' guy who'd actually know th' meaning of "ocarina"?  
  
Tsura: ...not...exact...*sweatdrop*  
  
BSGATC: I mean think about it: Of all the instruments in the world, why did you have to lose an OCARINA? I mean a guitar, a flute, a PIANO. I'm tellin' ya, miss, people are more likely to recognize a HARPSICORD! Buh, at least they're largish! But no! No! It's OCARINA! And it's tiny! And BLUE! What's wrong with blue? Well, think about it: Our currency is Rupees. A Five-Rupee Piece is blue. No big, right? Wrong! Whenever we win a stupid contest that we feel we should get a better prize or beat a crate with a stick or save some lady from bein' eaten by her auntie's undead half-goron dog that's possessed by the Mad Cow's Disease demon for th' third time this week, whaddo we get? A _SMALL_ _BLUE_ _STONE_. So what I'm sayin' is that it's easily mistakable and tha-  
  
Tsura/Darunia: *long gone*  
  
~*~*~East Clock Town~*~*~  
  
Tsura: *shaking head sadly* Oh well; At least it's raining.   
  
Darunia: *whimpering* Flaaaaame...  
  
Tsura: O_o;  
  
Anju: *comes walking by* Please drop this in the mailbox...  
  
Tsura: Your head better? OO;  
  
Anju: *with eerily plain look on face* No, actually. I was supposed to give this to you at eleven-thirty last night, not considering you not only would probably want to be getting some sleep, but you'd probably have to break in and enter, especially since you were wearing the Zora's mask when you got your key. Then, as it's already elven AM right now, the postman will have already picked it up. *hands letter to Tsura*  
  
Tsura: Aaa...  
  
Anju: Good day. O.O *walks off*  
  
Darunia: Methinks Red is developing a thing for long paragraphs.  
  
Red: *appears* Methinks if I hear you say "methinks" one more time you're going to find yourself in your real body and in a yaoi lemon with Ekien, Gannondorf, and a few random diseased animals.  
  
Darunia/Tsura: O.O;  
  
Tsura: You don't WRITE that stuff...?!  
  
Red: No, but I have my SOURCES!!! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *vanishes*  
  
Darunia: *disturbed* Let's just...sista' let's.... Yeah... *floats into South Clock Town, still murmuring*  
  
~*~*~South Clock Town~*~*~  
  
Wufei: *asleep next to the Deku Merchant's flower, leaning on his katana* *sleeptalking* Mou... Injustice...will wait.... Til weakling...fights...zzz....  
  
Tsura: *sweatdrops*  
  
Darunia: I don't think it's even THERE anymore...  
  
Tsura: *tiptoes quietly over to the mailbox and drops the letter in -to the postman's hand* OO; Nice timi-  
  
Mr. Postman: DON'T TALK TO ME!!!   
  
Tsura/Darunia: O.O;  
  
Darunia: Whoooo... Who smashed YOUR pebble!?  
  
Mr. Postman: ...if I talk to you, I'll interrupt my schedule!!  
  
Darunia: Yup, I'm sure you're reaaaaaally busy, delivering two whole letters a da-  
  
*******NIGHT OF THE SECOND DAY**********  
~~~~~~~~36 HOURS REMAIN~~~~~~~  
  
  
Mr. Postman: *takes the letter out of the mailbox in a huff and walks away to the Laundary Pool*  
  
Darunia: ...so much for my evil dis....  
  
Tsura: !   
  
Darunia: Whasso "!"?  
  
Tsura: *drags Darunia over to the Laundry Pool* Think about it!! If he delivers two letters a day, then we'll meet this Kafei dude if we follow him!!  
  
Darunia: Who died and said you could actually thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink!?  
  
~*~*~Laundry Pool~*~*~  
  
Mr. Postman: *walks up to the bell*  
  
Sign On Bell: Those with business, please ring bell. No solicitors. ALSO!  
  
To the kids who've been playing ding-dong-ditch and think it is sooooo funny, WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE. :)  
  
~Curiosity Shop  
  
Darunia: O_o;  
  
Tsura: Hey, how many houses ARE there in this town? O_o;  
  
Mr. Postman: *rings the bell*  
  
Bell: *holds up a sign that says "Ding"*  
  
Tsura/Darunia: *sweatdrop*  
  
Funky Freak In Pikachu Mask: *walks out of the Curiosity Shop and up to the postman*  
  
Mr. Postman: Yah! I have a letter for you!  
  
Tsura: ! Quick! Now's our chance!!! *grabs Darunia and ducks into back entrance of Curiosity Shop*  
  
~*~*~Curiosity Shop~*~*~  
  
Tsura: *sits on a crate and hums NewWave Bossa Nova*  
  
Darunia: And we're here because....?  
  
Funky Freak In Pikachu Mask: *walks in and looks Tsura over* Blue slimy skin... Four fishy eyes....  
  
Tsura: *has a look on her face that denotes she's debating whether or not to smash this guy through the wall*  
  
FFIPM: Anju wrote about you in her letter.  
  
Tsura: ...didn't you JUST get it? *sweatdrops*  
  
Darunia: Whoa! Speed-reader!  
  
FFIPM: It seems you are looking for Kafei.  
  
Tsura: {How can this guy be so mysterious with that electric rodent face on...?!} Uhm, yeah....  
  
FFIPM: ...Can you keep a secret?   
  
*longish pause*  
  
Tsura: ...OK, if this is about the fact that you see dead people I'm going to scream....  
  
FFIPM: CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET OR NOT!???????????????  
  
Tsura/Darunia: O.O;  
  
Tsura: H-hai.  
  
FFIPM: Anju trusted you. I shall also trust you.  
  
Tsura: *quietly* Yes, but she was bleeding from the head at the time... ^^;;  
  
FFIPM: *takes off mask to reveal....!*  
  
Kafei: I am Batman.  
  
Tsura/Darunia: O_o;  
  
Kafei: *smacks himself in the head repeatedly* KAFEI!! I AM _KAFEI_!!! KAFEIKAFEIKAFEIKAFEIKAFEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tsura: Shock.  
  
Kafei: *looks annoyed* Feh.  
  
Darunia: OK bro, whatever. But ya see, we're lookin' fer a man, an yer just some kid!!  
  
Kafei: I was turned into this by a strange imp wearing a mask.  
  
Darunia: Suuureee... What next? A magic fan made of diamonds that shoots fire when ya chant?!  
  
Tsura: Shh! *to Kafei* *concerned* Really?  
  
Kafei: Yes. But I'm not hiding because I look this way.  
  
Tsura: *sweatdrop* Really. =.=  
  
Kafei: -.-; *not paying attention* When I was turned into this, I went to see the Great Fairy in the shrine near the North Gate...  
  
Darunia: Have we been to the North Gate yet, sista?  
  
Tsura: No, 'cause that would mean Tingle would be in this fic... O_o;;  
  
Darunia/Tsura: *shudder*  
  
Kafei: *annoyed* BUT ON THE WAY, MY PRECIOUS MASK --A WEDDING CEREMONY MASK-- WAS STOLEN FROM ME BY SOME PRANCING MAN WITH A GRINNING FACE!!!  
  
Darunia/Tsura: EEEEEEEEEEEE ;;;;;;;;  
  
Kafei: ...you know him?  
  
Tsura: Unfortunately. ;;  
  
Kafei: ...er, before all of this, I was quite happy. I was targeted because of what I had been turned into.  
  
Darunia: Jeez, poor unlucky schlump.  
  
Tsura: Darunia!  
  
Darunia: What?!  
  
Kafei: *sweatdrops* I know Anju is worried... But I can't go back yet.   
  
Darunia: I know whatcha mean. I mean I-   
  
*thousands of pointy kitchen implements are suddenly inches away from Darunia's fairy body, all labeled "CENSORS"*  
  
Red: *appears* Listen, we're not letting that train of thought go ANYWHERE. Get it?  
  
Darunia: *ulp*  
  
Red: GOT it?  
  
Darunia: *ulpulp!*  
  
Red: Good. *vanishes with stuff*  
  
Tsura: O.O;;;  
  
Kafei: *coughs* Actually, I made a promise that I would wear my wedding mask and greet her... *puts on mask*  
  
Tsura: You're kiddin' me -.-;  
  
Kafei: No not THIS!!! *sweatdrops* Look, just give this pendant to Anju, all right?!  
  
Tsura: Sure...   
  
*********YOU GOT THE PENDANT OF MEMORIES!!!***********  
~~~~~Go give it to Anju now. Good slave. You get a biscuit.~~~~~~~~  
  
Tsura: *raises an eyebrow at the inscription* Uhm... Sure... *darts outside with Darunia*  
  
~*~*~South Clock Town~*~*~  
  
Wufei: *still asleep*  
  
Tsura/Darunia: *sweatdrop*  
  
~*~*~East Clock Town~*~*~  
  
Tsura: OK... Whew.... We're here.....  
  
Darunia: *humming happily, sitting on the clasp of her overalls*   
  
Tsura: *sweatdrops* Incidentally...  
  
Darunia: Eh? What?  
  
Tsura: ...uhm, *points to a Bomber* It's five AM... What's he doing outside...?  
  
Darunia: *sweatdrops* Let's just... Give this thing to Anju....  
  
*they walk inside*  
  
~*~*~Stock Pot Inn~*~*~  
  
Tsura: Think she'll actually be awa- OO  
  
Anju: *hanging from the ceiling with a big black sheet around her back and rubber fangs in* Velcome.  
  
Tsura/Darunia: O.O;;;;;;  
  
Anju: Aaaaa... I zee you half brought me zee Pendant Uv Memoriéz.   
  
Tsura: Uhh..... *to Darunia* OK, Yuy-boy needs to be kept on a leash....  
  
Darunia: No kidding....  
  
Anju: Good children. Now, giive eet to me!  
  
Tsura: ....uhm....*tosses it up to her*  
  
*CLANG!!!!!!!!!!!!*  
  
Darunia: O_o;;;;   
  
Anju: *stares blankly as the pendant indents itself in her forehead* O_O  
  
*CRSAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!!!!*  
  
Tsura: *stares at the Anju-shaped hole in the floor* ...oops? *loudly* Anju-san?! Anju-san, are you all right!?!  
  
Anju: *weakly* Outside... Up the stairs.... Walk outside....  
  
Tsura: *uncertaintly* Uhm... OK....  
  
______PLAYSTATION-STYLE FMV LOADS________  
  
  
Bare Zoran feet walk slowly up a flight of homely wooden stairs in an Termanian Inn, a red fairy glowing softly next to the youth's head... Nervously.....  
  
*Dong....*  
  
  
  
An imp in a prison cell that wreaks of musk sulks, his tiny companion asleep at his side. He taps his knobby fingers anxiously as he inspects the label of a bottle again -it would be useless to try to count how many times he had during that night- He sighs....  
  
*Dong....*  
  
A young human girl saunters into a ranch silently, so early in the day. Her hand strays again and again to her pocket, as if there was a beast there she has to protect. The huge expanse of grass frames her single, tiny-seeming form, gilded by the rising sun, yet her footsteps are almost unsure...  
  
*Dong....*  
  
A floating building in a bay, sheltered there from the ferocity of the endless sea. An adult female Zora rocks on her heals, as an aqua-colored fairy buzzes about her head fretfully. Her breathing is odd....  
  
*Dong....*  
  
Deep in an ancient palace where no living soul had set foot for thousands of years until hours before, a young boy of legends sits, cleaning from his sturdy boots an unknown substance. Around him buzzes a female fairy, ringing and speaking of some kind of hat. They seem somehow tense.....  
  
*Dong....*  
  
The Zoran youth walks out and looks to the sky.  
  
"!"  
  
~DAWN~  
  
Sunlight streams through the window of the cell. The imp looks up shakily.  
  
"Holy NARF..."  
  
~OF~  
  
Crossing the field, the girl chances to move her gaze toward the heavens.  
  
"Oh what did I get us into THIS time....?"  
  
~THE~  
  
In the bay, the Zoran suddenly grabs the fairy and holds him upwards, giving him an all-too-clear view.  
  
"Dude..."  
  
~FINAL~  
  
The boy tries to pry his boot off, and goes sprawling backwards, gazing through windows newly-burned clear....  
  
"Mooooooooommy.... ;;;"  
  
*DONG......!*  
  
  
  
  
  
MOON: *is abso-freaking-huge*  
  
  
  
~DAWN OF THE FINAL DAY~  
****24 HOURS REMAIN*****  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
CAST: *glares at Red* CUT THE DRAMATICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Red: ....oi O_o; *shoves everyone away and sweatdrops* Ta-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! I had to do that goofy bit at the end ^^;;; Sorry! I wish I had HTML... (BTW, thanks Cerena for trying to help with that^ ^; My computer shall always be EVIL! So, I'm excited, are you? (no.) This awful thing's almost done -yes, I'll try to be much, much, faster ^^; (If you're actually putting up with my horrid spead, ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU O_o) The next few chapters will be SLIGHTLY SLIGHTLY different, BTW. Whahaha. I've got the ending all planned out (have for awhile) and I can't wait 'till I get to write it! Will the characters prevail, find the Ocarina, and destroy the Evil (or at least the moderate badness)? Or will they all DIE CRUSHING BAD DEATHS!? BUAHAHAHAHA!!! Well, it's kinda' obvious; They DO have my other half on their side! ;)  
  
__________*fade to black*_______________  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
We're all gonna NARFING diiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee....!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Grrr....  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*CLANG!!!!!!!*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*MEOW!!!*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
NARF!!! X.x  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
....Stalkid-kun no da, you can leave now no da. The chapter's over no da -just us extras cleaning up na no da..  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Stalkid no da?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
............MWEEHEEHEEEHEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
OO; D-da.  
  
  
  
  
~Begin The Final Part!~  
  
~Akai Ku/XIIIRedXIII  



End file.
